Newspapers of the Mind

We all know people who are obsessed with staying up to date. They read 4 newspapers engrossed with the stories of violence, theft, relationship issues, scandal, politics, sports, business and so on.

Or they turn on the TV watching reality shows, crime stories, news from the moment they get home until they go to bed. Or spend countless hours searching and flitting round the Internet like a bumblebee searching for nectar.

Our minds can be mostly occupied by the same things that fill newspapers: wars in relationships, personal scandals, and the sport of our fantasizes and pleasures.

If we never stop; look around, challenge and spend time in contemplation we will never find wisdom.

What tip do you have to put down the newspapers of our mind?

Technorati tags: wisdom, contemplation

Living large

When things are going wrong some people have the tendency to sit down and look for answers in what they are not doing.

You can't define what you should be doing by what you are not doing. That is just negative space. We are not doing it simply because there is no compelling reason to do so.

We need to look for those things that whisper quietly in our ear. The things that we wish for. There is where we will find our inspiration that will carry us through the trials and tribulations of life.

If we are not going for the things that inspire us then we are just getting by; just surviving. If we want to live large then we need to dream large and today is a good day to start.

Can you do one thing today that works towards your dream?

Technorati tags: dreams, goals, personal growth

Appreciation Post 2

A thank you to Paisley from why paisley ??? always an interesting a provocative read for her mention of one of my posts Death's Door.

A thank you to Derrick Kwa from Sui Generis for both mentioning a post of mine Our Legacy and for including me in his meme.

A thanks to Shine from Shine With Grace a new blogger for including me in her JohnCow.com meme.

A thanks to Comedy Plus, Random Magus, and Jeane Michelle Culp from Binding Ink  three of my favorite reads for awarding me the Thoughtful Blogger Award which is

For those who answer blog comments, emails, and make their visitors feel at home on their blogs. For the people who take others feelings into consideration before speaking out and who are kind and courteous. Also for all of those bloggers who spend so much of their time helping others bloggers design, improve, and fix their sites. This award is for those generous bloggers who think of others.

A thanks to Mike Scott from Port 16 for mentioning and considering my posts deep and thoughtful.

A thanks to Mimi from Mimi Writes and Samantha and Tigger from Life from a Cat's Perspective for awarding me the Schmooze Award which is

As it goes, schmoozing is the natural ability 'to converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.' Good schmoozers effortlessly weave their way in and out of the blogosphere, leaving friendly trails and smiles, happily making new friends along the way. They don’t limit their visits to only the rich and successful, but spend some time to say hello to new blogs as well. They are the ones who engage others in meaningful conversations, refusing to let it end at a mere hello - all the while fostering a sense of closeness and friendship.

Technorati tags: appreciation, awards

Thirty Seconds a Day

There is a simple remedy to help us have a great life. It costs nothing but the discipline to do it everyday. It is painless and guaranteed to work if we choose to use it.

Every morning before we wash our hands, face, or shower to start the day; take 30 seconds and smile at ourselves in the mirror. If we can't smile naturally then help it along by using our fingers and pushing up on each side of our mouth.

This will certainly bring a smile or laugh when we see ourselves in the mirror. It will be impossible to feel down or depressed when we smile.

By the way we can smile for longer than 30 seconds if we want to. Can you think of any better way to start every day.

To simple?

Technorati tags: morning routine, attitude

Gossip and Lies

Truth matters. When we manipulate people and lie to them because we decide that it is in their or our interests then we take something from them. We treat them as the means to some other end and definitely not in their best interests.

We might delude ourselves by saying that it is a little white lie and we don't want to hurt their feelings or we just don't want to tell them the truth.

In every case we are not being true to ourselves and getting in the habit of not telling the truth has an impact on us and what we hold to be important for us. Eventually most lies get discovered and we have at that point lost an important ingredient necessary for any kind of relationship.

 We are no longer trustworthy.

Once lost it is almost impossible to gain back again. It is much better to say nothing than it is to lie. Even better to tell the truth and we need to be very careful that our truth isn't just gossip. If we don't know personally because we were involved in the situation then it is only gossip and remember always that is also only our interpretation.

Is it possible not to gossip or lie?

Technorati tags: trustworthy, lies, gossip

Being Fair to Ourselves

We have throughout our lives been taught to not praise ourselves. It is considered bragging, putting on airs, or just plain in bad taste. We can even remember sermons about it like "Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."

Why is it considered bad?

Perhaps because in a lot of cases it is used to elevate one person over another as if in some way it is proof of their feeling of superiority. When used this way we would probably agree that it has a negative connotation and we would consider it in poor taste or a destructive statement.

Can we argue that when we do something good and praiseworthy that we can at least acknowledge to ourselves. Not in a vain way but as a recognition that we do good things as well as they bad things which we are so quick to point out to ourselves.

When we only recognize the things we do wrong we are out of balance and lose our perspective. If we only focus on the negative then we are not being fair to ourselves. After all we we see others as a mix of good and bad actions and accept them when the good outweighs the bad.

Can we do no less for ourselves.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: acceptance, personal growth, balance

What If

If we are startled or in a harmful situation we react and respond immediately. No hesitation just reaction. It is afterward that we get the shakes become afraid when speculating on what could have happened. We mark the key elements we should pay attention to such as stepping off the curb without looking and determine what we will do in the future to prevent the situation from occurring again. Check first.

When does fear occur?

All fear begins with 'what if'. We speculate about the future and play what if games. Certainly we need to look at potential problems and determine whether they will have an impact and more importantly what is the possibility of them occurring.

What we need to understand is everything about the future is predictive. It is our guess about what might or might not happen. We need to use common sense and not fear as our guide.

If our 'what if' gets out of hand then we can paralyze ourselves by fear rather than counting on our ability to adapt and modify to meet actual events. After all  haven't we been doing that all our lives.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: fear, what if, future, personal growth

Our Legacy

There are people who their whole life seek to take from others. They cheat, lie and steal their way through life. They are not necessarily criminals blatantly robbing a bank. They could exist in an office, the corner store, a social group we belong to, or in our families.

They all have one thing in common. They believe that the world operates on grabbing scarce resources for themselves in any way that they can whether it is power, money, or resources.

They believe that they only do what everyone else is doing; looking out for number one. Relationships are always to be manipulated and used to benefit themselves. Anyone who doesn't is considered a patsy and fair game. It's a what's in it for me approach to life.

There is some truth that there are scarce resources driven by the ongoing need to accumulate for it's own sake rather than what we actually need. It is spiraling demand that feeds on itself.

They leave no legacy behind them when they leave. They have not created anything of value and so will not be missed. How sad to have lived a life that brought no benefit to anyone but themselves.

 It is when we create something of value to others especially relationships with others that we leave a legacy. A legacy of fond and happy memories in the lives of people we have touched and perhaps changed. That legacy lasts forever as it is passed down through the generations.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: scarcity, legacy

Mistakes and Imperfections

We may have at sometime repaired or built something. It may be a patch in the ceiling from a leak, a touch of crazy glue for the sole of a shoe or built a deck for the house. But it wasn't perfect and we can see the patches or mistakes.

They stand out to us as if there is a spotlight on it for all to see and we are sure that everyone else can see them to. We can treat mistakes we make in our lives the same way. Certain that everyone can see them and are focused on them.

When we start to think like this then it is time for us to go and look at houses that are made of bricks. When we first look at the house we think that it looks great. We admire the appearance and the color and think that we would like a house like that.

However close examination will find one, two or five bricks that are not perfectly aligned or exactly the same shade of color. No matter how long we look we will not find one perfect house.

Those imperfections and mistakes give each house a uniqueness all of it's own. Shouldn't we treat our mistakes and imperfections the same way?

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: mistakes, personal growth, life

Death's Door

 What if we knew when we were going to die? Let's say 3 weeks from today. Would we panic saying it's not enough time to get all the things done that we need to do? Would we be afraid? Suddenly get religion or just cry out why me. Why now?

In reviewing our life as we would do; what would we regret not doing. Would it be not spending quality time with our family? Would it be about our focus on things and our realization that now they are no longer  important.

Would we regret not pursuing relationships because we thought we would have time later? Would we regret not following our passions? Would we regret not going for our dreams? So many questions different than those we normally ask ourselves.

What advice would we want to pass on to friends and family about choosing their priorities in life correctly? We think we have all the time in the world to get everything done. However; with few exceptions, no one knows the moment of their death. 

Would we say we could have lived a better life? How sad those words are to sum up our existence.

We are alive right now, right here and we have this moment to live. How do we wish to live it?

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: death, perspective. personal growth, life

Simplicity

We sometimes like to develop complex plans as if their shear complexity somehow guarantees that we have spent the appropriate amount of time in planning to ensure success.

However the more complex the plan the more likely it is that something will go wrong. It becomes like a house of cards that crumbles at the slightest puff of wind.

Simplicity is the first foundation of a good plan. For example if our goal is to put away money for retirement, a new home, vacation or new car then the plan is simple. Spend less than we make and invest the difference.

The plan is measurable on a weekly, monthly and annual basis. If we are up to our eyebrows in debt then start by allocating a set amount per week; say $10 and pay that first, then your debts and live on the balance. This still maintains the plan as stated.

The plan stays simple no matter what level you take it to and the only thing that changes is how to implement it. Clear focus, persistence, periodic review, and adjusting to circumstances are the other foundations for successful completion of goals.

If we have a complex goal then break it down into simple manageable pieces and we will be able to monitor it and adjust it quickly as we will need to do.

Simplicity is the key.

What would you add to the list?

Technorati tags: planning, simplicity, goals

The Two-Headed God of Anger

The most destructive force we have is anger or it's close cousin hatred. In a moment of angry resolve we can tear down things and relationships that we have spent years building.

We have all seen it when someone gets so angry that they quit their job, quit their marriage or cut off a life-long friend. All in a moment and once done rarely can it be fixed. Especially when it comes to relationships.

Anger however can also be a constructive force to get us moving to do something we need to do. Tony Robbins; a well known self-help guru, got started when he got angry with himself and determined that he was no longer going to just coast through life. He just wasn't going to live as he had any longer.

The same intense emotion in both cases but with very different results.

What makes the difference?

It appears that destructive anger focuses on things and relationships outside of ourselves and constructive anger focuses on ourselves. So when we are angry with things, events, and relationships is the time we need to closely look at our perspective on what is causing our anger. We need to double check our actions to make sure we don't shoot ourselves in the foot.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: destructive anger, constructive anger, perspective

Key Distinctions

We have a tendency when we are very unhappy with our life and the way it is going to throw the baby out with the bath water. We are frustrated that our dreams that we have for ourselves seem to be out of our reach. We become desperate.

In this state we feel that the only thing we can do to put the dreams within reach for us is to throw away what we have and seek a totally new path. This is when relationships can end, careers abandoned and desperate actions taken.

For a few this may be the only route they have to take. But for others what is needed is a careful examination of both what we desire to have happen in our lives and more importantly what we already have.

We may be at a point that our original goals are at odds with what we thought we wanted and now it is time to adjust our goals to who we are now.

We may need to adjust what we define as success and find that we have already accomplished our goals just in a way different than we envisioned.

We may need to drop some unrealistic goals and relax and broaden our goals to accept new challenges that have meaning for us while keeping what is important to us.

These are just a few of the key distinctions that we need to make before we throw the baby out with the bath water.

What would you add to this list?

Technorati tags: key distinctions, personal growth, managing change

Hidden Triggers and Change

We prepare ourselves for a making a change by creating a plan of action that we believe will work. We have created our reasons for making the change; either in the case of smoking, to avoid some kind of pain (cancer) or to obtain some kind of pleasure (spend money on a trip) that make sense to us.

We feel absolutely ready for a difficult change to a habit we know and need to change. We have psyched ourselves up and feel we are confident in that we can and will achieve the change.

We start and 3 days later we are back smoking.

What happened? We have done our homework and this was not our first time trying. We had really felt ready this time. What happened was our hidden triggers kicked in and we were not prepared to handle them.

A hidden trigger is usually an emotional state that we have over the years used our habit (smoking) to change our body state. That is to change how we feel in a certain set of circumstances. The longer the habit has existed then the more we have used the habit to change how we feel in different situations.

When making a change to a long term habit we need to recognize that we will have unexpected urges to return to our old habit long after we have stopped.

When they occur we need to recognize what is happening and adapt our coping strategy to include the newly discovered trigger. If we are prepared to handle the unexpected the better are our chances to master the change.

How do you handle your hidden triggers?

Technorati tags: hidden triggers, managing change, habits

Unwinnable Arguments

Have you ever listened to someone who was in an absolute rage at their boss, coworker or about how they were treated by someone in a faceless business. We could swear that they are going to have a heart attack if they don't calm down.

Have you watched a person become consumed by their hatred. Their life is defined by and supportive of that hatred. There is almost no room for anything else in their life.

What does all that rage, hate, and anger solve?

Absolutely nothing.

Do we somehow think that our fighting back will change the person that caused it. Do we think that by attacking or subtle sabotage will cause that person or organization to change.

People are who they are. Only they can change themselves. Granted if we have power over them then we can enforce our will but then we will have become one of them.

Sometimes it can be how we respond that can start the process of change in them. When we maintain our belief in ourselves and our actions reflect those beliefs then they cannot affect us. That is our choice and our strength. 

Do you agree? Disagree?

Technorati tags: hatred, anger, arguments

Demons of Desire

Have you noticed that things we have intensely desired soon becomes rather ordinary and no longer endowed with the almost mystical aura that they had before we got it?

If we look at what typically happens we would see that we start with a desire for something. We think about it and start to build a rationale for why we want it. We will create elaborate logical arguments to justify and support why we want it to ourselves and others.

We can do an excellent job on selling ourselves on all of the plus benefits that we will receive and downplay or ignore any negative points. We have lost our perspective. At this stage driven by the demons of desire it has become an absolute need and must be satisfied. 

After we have what we desired and the shine has worn off then the things we pushed aside or ignored come back to haunt us.

The key distinction we need to make before we start down the road is whether it is a need or a desire and keep that in mind as we look at the pros or cons of obtaining it and not fall into the trap of mistaking a desire for a need.

Have you ever found that once you obtained something that you wondered why you ever got it? Do you have a way of dealing with this issue? Your thoughts.

Technorati tags: desire, need, goals

Blog Drive-Byes July 2007

A thank you to Paisley for a mention in her post Bones which took the subject of Our Stories and eloquently expanded on it. I consider it a must read for anyone working on personal change.

An excellent post by Camille called Knowing which deals with her learning to listen to her inner voice and it's rewards for her.

A great post by Random Magus called Shhhh! that deals with our inner silence.

Jennifer in her blog The Art of Intimacy has a good post Who is to Blame that should be read by anyone involved in relationships.

Tony from Success From The Nest on how each of us has a wild card and the need to learn how to play it.

A thank you to David Williams for mentioning my post The Gift of Winning on his blog Create Business Growth.

Technorati tags: blog Drive-Byes

Unintended Consequences

We have been taught to be problem oriented that is define a problem then the solution and finally implement it. The result should be a change in the direction we want to go or to achieve a result we want.

Have you found that only seems to work in problems not related to people? It seems that the more people involved in the solution or impacted by the solution the more uncertain it becomes as to what results we will actually get. It is called the Law of Unintended Consequences.

We anticipate problems and develop solutions according to our knowledge and how we would personally handle the situation. We can try to involve others in determining solutions and that will certainly cut down but will not eliminate unexpected results.

We may see a change as beneficial from our point of view but the person receiving the benefit may not see it that way for whatever reason they choose. Rarely does change not have unintended consequences even when it only involves ourselves.

We need to evaluate how certain we are that others impacted by the change will accept the change. If we don't know then we need to find out or at minimum have a damage control program in place to respond immediately when it does occur.

Has this happened to you and what steps can we take for this problem?

Technorati tags: unintended consequences, problem solving, managing change

Clinging to Our Vision

We see and hear a lot about how important it is to have a vision for our life. It is necessary to give ourselves guidance when making choices in the actions we take on any given day. It defines our goals and measures our progress.

What is a vision?

It is a mental representation of where we see ourselves in the future and what we stand for. It represents what is most important for us. If asked many people can tell you about their vision and can be very clear on the obstacles they need to overcome to reach it. But are they doing anything today to reach it.

If we have not taken an action towards our vision today then perhaps it is because the vision we have has lost it's power to generate action. We see it and want it but are not inspired enough anymore to take an action today. We have stopped asking at the end of each day what we have done towards our vision. We have stopped looking for alternate ways and possibilities for reaching our vision.

If this is true then we need to create a new vision that does excite us and moves us to take action right now. Remember that over time we change and our vision needs to change with us.

Are you still clinging to an outdated vision?

Technorati tags: vision, personal growth, perspective

Our Stories

We tell stories all the time. Stories are how we communicate. We have stories of how smart we are. Stories of where we are going, where we have been and where we are right now. We have different stories of our life depending on who is our audience and what impression we want the audience to have.

We also have stories we tell ourselves where we are the only audience. This is where our choice of stories affects what we do right now. If we tell ourselves stories of failure, embarrassment, what we lack or what is not possible then we will act it out after all it is our story and we are the storyteller.

Our stories are not complete tales but chosen fragments of our life and circumstances to support the meaning we wish to give the story we have chosen. Our past is a story as is our future.

As we are the storyteller it is our choice of what stories we use.

Do your stories support you or hinder you?

Technorati tags: stories, meaning, managing change

The Gift of Winning

We all like to win at something. We seem to strive throughout our lives to win at things and when we do; doesn't it feel great. It can be a 3-legged race, checkers, water balloon fight or a promotion. When we win we feel good about ourselves and feel that we can accomplish things. It is as if we have been given permission to go on to bigger and better things. We start to dream and live a larger life.

Winning is not only about what we get. It is also something that we can give. We can give the gift of making someone feel like a winner. It can be a loved one, a child, an aging parent, a co-worker or just someone we meet as we go about our lives.

When we give that gift to someone else we can change their life. They no longer have to sit on the sidelines of life with a cup of wishful thinking. They already have the reward. Now they can let go of the striving to win. Now they can live the life of possibility they were born to achieve. Now they have permission to be all that they can be. Now they no longer have to compete for someone else's award. Now they can throw of the fear of failure and the quicksand of self-doubt.

Once we have the feeling of being a winner no one can take that away. It is ours for life. What a great gift to give someone.

I know what that feeling is because the community that I have met around my blog have given me that gift of feeling a winner. I cannot thank you enough.

Is there someone you know that needs your gift?

Technorati tags: winning, perspective, gifts

Having No Plan

Our plan blows up in our face and we come out a situation that didn't go well at all and we are exhausted in spirit. We don't have a plan any longer and right now we just don't have the confidence to create a new direction for ourselves.

Or we just can't seem to create a plan we can commit to and end up trusting to the luck of being in the right place at the right time for the right opportunity.

In either case we can end up drifting and barely reacting to what is going on in our life. We let the winds of life blow us from one temporary harbor to another temporary harbor. Nothing really matters because there is no guide to measure our progress against or our lack of progress to tell us we need to change.

We are really resigned to whatever fate has decided to hand out to us and we won't try anything new because we don't know where we want to go to.

No way you say. Not me.

Do you have a plan for your life?

Technorati tags: planning, success, life

Appreciation Post

A thank you to both Sandee from Comedy Plus and Random Magus for awarding me the Schmoozer Award which means:

As it goes, schmoozing is the natural ability “to converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.” Good schmoozers effortlessly weave their way in and out of the blogosphere, leaving friendly trails and smiles, happily making new friends along the way. They don’t limit their visits to only the rich and successful, but spend some time to say hello to new blogs as well. They are the ones who engage others in meaningful conversations, refusing to let it end at a mere hello - all the while fostering a sense of closeness and friendship.
This quote is from Ann at A Nice Place in the Sun who had awarded this to Comedy Plus.

A thank you to Carol from My View of it for also awarding me the Smoozer Award also one of my favorite blogs. I feel honored to have 3 great bloogers feel that I desrve this award.

A thank you to Shine from  Shine With Grace a new blogger and interesting read for declaring my blog a "Great Discovery" and for her comments on my blog.

All of the above Bloggers are regular commenters on my blog with many an interesting conversation that floats from blog to blog. Feel free to join in the conversation

Paralysis of Analysis

Along with overcoming mistakes which was yesterdays post is a similar issue that often prevents us from attempting to make a change.

We all have had at some point difficult situations which are so complicated we just don't know what all the consequences will be until after we have taken action.

There we sit going over and over in our mind trying to sort out priorities, impacts and possible results. Every time we think we have a solution and decide what we want to do we think of another problem with what we want to do.

The problem has paralyzed us. We can no longer think straight as we are lost in the problem. We need to step back and understand that not making a decision is also making a decision. A decision to stay the same.

Now we need to shift the focus back to why we need to make the decision. We must understand clearly what it is that we want to have happen for ourselves. We need to reevaluate whether the original reason we got stuck in the problem is still valid. Perhaps the analysis we have done will change how we define the problem and lead to a better solution.

If not then we must realize that we can not have a perfect solution and act on our best choice and accept that there will be unknown consequences. Not perfect but very human.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: problem solving, perspective

Overcoming Mistakes

We have learned that mistakes are negative while we were children at school  and as we joined the work force.  We are allowed learning mistakes as long as they are not repeated or don't cost to much. This is an attitude that assumes we could have prevented them through better thinking or planning.

But what are mistakes?

They are usually things that we only understand in hindsight as being errors in thinking as we failed to predicte future events and actions prefectly. It is only when we accept those errors as somehow being preventable that we can feel we have screwed up. Yes, we want to prevent major errors in judgement whenever possible as is sensible. But to try and eliminate all mistakes is not possible.

We should understand that mistakes will be made and realize that they will be part of making any change. Then when we make one we can adjust immediately and continue rather than having it stop us in our tracks as so many times it does.

Perhaps we should consider mistakes as a natural part of living and not blow them out of proportion when we make them as we will.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: mistakes, managing change, perspective

Our Tribes

In the past our primary groups were family, the work place, religious affiliation, social circles and had a defined and rigid structure.

Today there is an ever increasing movement of people to large urban centers all over the world as more opportunity will be located in those urban centers both now and in the future. There is the increasing impact of the Internet on communication, business models, customer access and customer choice across borders and International boundaries. There is a dispersing of family groups geographically and a decline in religious affiliations.

Today we are more like tribes. I am using tribe in the sense that they are a group of people of no fixed size who have agreed upon standards of behavior, expression, goals and a variable leadership depending on task.

Now a group or tribe can come together focused around a single event or topic and contain members from all over the world. Like tribes of old we can be adopted in by agreeing to the customs and leave when we no longer agree.

The fact that lifetime employment in a single company or industry is no longer guaranteed has shifted allegiance from the work place to people that we have formed alliances with or in other words our tribe.

When we look at blogs and communities on the Internet we will find that blogs focusing on a topic tend to belong to a group or tribe that have common customs. Similarly communities such as Digg or Linkedin have the same criteria of behavior, expression and goals. 

The social changes brought about by us belonging to different tribes depending on needs and interest will change the type and quality of our social interactions today and into the future.

Is this to simplistic a perspective? Your thoughts.

Technorati tags: tribes, social interactions, future, perspective

Sparks of Possibility

We can often look at the state of things and think to ourselves that there is nothing we can do about them. The problem is too big and we are but one person. Having made that decision we absolve ourselves from being part of the solution. 

On this day of Independence it is particularly appropriate to talk about how individuals can make a difference. An idea is started by one person who speaks with a voice of passion. That spark of passion then ignites in the heart of a listener who in turn passes on the spark.

Thus the American and French revolutions were started. Thus Rosa Parks in 1955 started the fight against segregation and ignited the spark in Martin Luther King Jr. Thus Mahatma Gandhi created the spark that led to independence for India.

When we are the presence of someone who is speaking from their spark of passion we can easily catch that spark and carry it forward. No problem is insurmountable if enough people get the spark.

It starts with one person. One person does make a difference. Maybe it won't create a new nation or stamp out world hunger. Then again it just might.

What would you change by being the spark?

Technorati tags: sparks of possibility, perspective, personal growth

Antidote to Fear

We have a tendency to tighten up when we uncertain about the results of our actions. Anyone who has suffered stage fright or exam jitters knows this feeling well. It is a legacy from our past when we tightened up in times of danger to make ourselves hard and therefore reduce physical damage.

The trouble is that it can be triggered by both actual danger and if we perceive that there is a danger even if it is not physical in nature. This is why the fear of public speaking is rated higher than the fear of death. The price can be high because we are holding ourselves back from what is possible for ourselves to accomplish.

There is an antidote to our mental fears. It is passion. When we think about the times we have been passionate about something important to us then we will remember how fearless we were. We took actions and engaged people that after the fact we would shake our head and wonder where we got the nerve to do that.

Passion is about letting go of the checks and balances we have put in place to protect our image in the eyes of others. It is about expressing who we are fully without worrying what others think. It is not for the faint-hearted.

Is living a fully passionate life possible?

Technorati tags: passion, personal growth, fear

Relationship Disputes

 I am so disappointed, sad, upset, or angry with you. This is usually the opening salvo of a fight at worse or at minimum of placing blame on you as the cause of a problem.

This common practice of placing the other person as the cause of the problem then gives us the superior position of being the person wronged. We then perceive that we have the power in the dispute; that is, we will determine the acceptability of their response. Only we can decide that it is finished when we are satisfied.

Now we have a power struggle where the other party has to defend themselves by possibly dragging up other issues that prove they were right in their actions. Now it is about who is right and no longer about the original issue.

Much like a war the ending may leave one of the parties feeling victimized and ready at a moments notice to resume the argument whenever they feel they have more ammunition. It festers and colors the whole relationship.

Is there a better way?

What if instead of placing blame we were to say that our relationship has a problem we jointly need to resolve. By making it our problem and our solution we take away blame and who is right from the equation. After all isn't it about solving the problem rather than starting a war.

Do you think this is possible? Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: relationships, problem solving, perspective

The Future of Work

A company finds themselves a profitable business and establishes a methodology; that is, a structure and processes that maximizes their profit from their customer base. Other companies copy that methodology and competition enforces further efficiencies.

This is the framework under which most of our current  businesses operate today. The problem now occurring is that change is happening so fast that fixed and rigid structures and processes cannot cope. By the time a methodology has been created the problems have changed.

The nature of the problems that businesses will need to solve don't even exist today but will be there tomorrow. We just have to look at printed media or music and how they are trying to evolve using traditional methodologies to see an examples of the problem.

Businesses need to evolve a totally new approach to coping with change in order to stay in business. Today we don't even know all the problems that could exist even a month from now. A problem is defined. A need for skills would be established defined by the problem and a team brought together for solving that problem. The problem is solved and then the team will be disbanded.

Individuals will need to have multiple skills that can be used in different teams as they are hired from problem to problem. Flexibility and the ability to obtain new skills rapidly and discard outdated ones will become a norm in a rapidly changing world market.

Do you agree or disagree? How will you meet this challenge?

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: future work, perspective, personal growth