Opinions

Most people have opinions on almost every subject we can think of and are prepared to tell anyone who asks what they are. Nothing wrong with this unless someone is looking for help on making an important decision or change in their life. What that person is really looking for is an informed opinion otherwise known as experience.
So how can we discover whether or not we are getting an informed opinion?
By using the skill of asking better questions. Instead of asking a person what they think about something we would ask do they have any experience with whatever we are interested in. In essence; does their resume have the skills to answer our need.
Your thoughts?

Reasons

We can spend a great deal of time trying to discover the reasons for a particular situation we are in especially if we decide other people are involved. The moment we consider the situation may be caused by others we seem to go on a witch hunt. Who did it? Why did they do it? How do we prevent it from happening again? Just to name a few of the questions we could ask.
People take action according to their beliefs whether we agree or not so we could waste a lot of time and effort trying to answer why and never get it right. We can examine the situation for clues to preventing a similar situation occurring in future. After that we should just accept the results and move on.
Your thoughts?

Our Thinking Box

I love finding out new things, perspectives, authors, theories, odd facts and miscellaneous trivia. Everything I learn about changes my thinking box.

What we know is like a box. It has specific limits defined by our knowledge. It is not the total of all knowledge but we can unknowingly use our box as if it were. 

We define things by the words we use. If we have no words then we have to lump our experience into something we already know about. We define our problems from our thinking box and our solutions.

We do that when we simply write out or state our problem to our self. We cannot state what we don't know. Nor can we look for solutions outside of our knowledge unless we realize that fact.

Now without a doubt there are problems that we can solve with our knowledge or by looking at solutions provided by others who answer the same defined problem. But if we are stuck then we need a different approach.

We need to know what we don't know.

By understanding the limits of our thinking box in our ability to define the problem and/or solutions then we can look for more knowledge. Whatever we learn increases the size of our box and therefore increases the possibilities of new definitions for the problem or new solutions or both.

How do you change your thinking box?

Technorati tags: thinking skills, perspective. personal growth

Happiness and Goals

Do we want to make someone laugh? Just tell them that we want to be happy as a life goal. We may be told that's for kids. Don't be a dreamer. We may be told its too vague. We may be lectured on proper goals such as success, emotional or spiritual fulfillment. We can end up accepting someone else's definition of success.

But why do we want things. Things like:

• a great relationship
• time for family
• travel the world
• to be wealthy 
• to be successful

If we keep asking the question why; we would discover that we ultimately want to be happy. If we just accept what we are told will make us happy and make it our goal then we act as if it is true. We have our route to the top of the mountain. 

We don't understand how some people are content with very little and can think that they lack ambition, opportunity, or the ability to achieve greatness. Instead they may have found they don't need to climb your mountain.

They are already on their mountain top and enjoying their life right now. They realize that goals and things do not create happiness. It is the moment to moment enjoyment and accomplishments we can have in our life right now doing whatever we are doing.

if we find we are not enjoying the ride up our particular mountain then we may need to choose a different definition of happiness. It is our life, our choice.

"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

 

Technorati tags: happiness, goals, perspective, choice

Experience as a Teacher

Experience can be either a good or bad teacher. 

The Good:

It can allow us to make better choices; that is, learn from our experience. Examples come easily to mind such as learning a task or skill. It can teach us what to avoid or what to pay attention to.

The Bad:

It can limit us is in what we allow to be possible for ourselves. We tried something and we had a bad experience. We hesitate to take a new opportunity because it is similar to one that in the past didn't work out for us.

We have a great desire to eliminate problems because when we have no problems by default then we would be happy. The higher the emotional level attached to the experience the more we classify it as black or white.

If we more closely examine our experiences we might find that they are usually a mixture of good and bad. Wisdom could be said to be when we realize that everything is shades of gray depending on our perceptions.

Perhaps we should as Stephen Covey said:

"Live out of your imagination, not your history."

Learn from our experiences but don't allow them to dictate a future less than we could have.

 

Technorati tags: experiences, thinking skills, perspective, personal growth

Deliberate Creativity

This is the fourth and final post of this mini series on deliberate creativity.

1. Creativity and Thinking
2. Problem With Problem Thinking
3. Useful Ideas Concept

Many of us have a preoccupation with being happy and seeking to  banish unhappiness in our lives. We will use this as an example of the deliberate creativity process.

We have a problem; unhappiness, and we use our problem solving tools (logic) to find the source and stop it. We try something and it doesn't work and look around to see if anyone else has a better problem solving routine and attempt to copy it with varying degrees of success.

But the problem keeps coming back and we once more start out to solve the problem thinking that we missed something in the last attempt. Something was not right in our logic. What if the issue is the way we create the problem to solve?

If instead of starting with the concept unhappiness is a problem we changed our perspective by starting with a different idea or a different question. For example: When is unhappiness a correct feeling? We might say when we do something without thinking and hurt someone. Or when reality does not match our expectations.

Then we might say to ourselves that we can reduce but not completely eliminate it as we are not perfect. We might decide that when it happens we will first check to see if it was something we had control over and correct our behavior or realize that expectations and actuality are rarely a match and accept it and let it go. And so on.

Could we say as a useful idea that an artist is someone who sees the world with a different perspective than we do. Creativity then is seeing the same things with a different perspective and perspective can be changed if we chose to.

Then we can use our usual problem solving tools to create actions based on this new perspective and use our resulting experiences to confirm our new perspective and develop a new belief that eventually replaces the old one if appropriate.  

If we always start with the same idea then we shouldn't be surprised when we always reach the same answer. To get different and better answers we need to change the idea we start with. All problems and ideas can be approached creatively by changing the initial idea we start with and then letting our logical solving routines go to work.

Creativity then is a skill and can be learnt and mastered by practice.

If our life is our ultimate creative endeavor then how skilful do we want to be?

[RELATED POSTS]

Our Perceptions and Reality

Thinking About Beliefs Part 1

Value of Unpleasant Feelings

Technorati tags: creativity, personal growth, perspective, thinking skills

Useful Ideas Concept

This is the third post in a mini series on deliberate creativity.

1. Creativity and Thinking
2. Problem With Problem Thinking

One of the creative concepts that I use for thinking I call Useful Idea. This is an idea that I can use that doesn't have to be truthful, make sense or be defended but I use to find a different perspective that will change how I look at a problem or solution. 

For example Jennifer at Goodness Graciousness has a post about Truth and Reality that illustrates a useful idea that as we get older our description of the same item gets more specific and detailed and both our answers and thinking reflect that and limit us. There can  only be one truth.

Next useful idea is that we define a problem with our truths. That is our beliefs, past judgements, arguments, perceptions and methods of solving problems determines how we define the problem or solution we are seeking. 

Example adapted from Edward de Bono's books on thinking.

At a drag race there are 73 racers entered. You are the Marshall and have to determine how many races have to be run. How would you go about finding this number?  Most of us would pick up a pencil and paper and start to chart out the number of matches. However, there is another method which will solve this in less than 5 seconds. If instead of looking at winners we asked the question how many losers would it take to have 1 final winner. The answer is 72. (73-1). There would need to be 72 matches. Also works for an even number of players. A shift in perception of the problem.

Useful Idea: We see information through the filter of our perceptions; our truths. The way we hold and use our truths creates the problem of seeing new ways of looking at the problem.

Useful Idea: A child does not have a complex problem solving methodology based on truths to limit them. They are free to create and use any idea with any other idea and thus easily find new ways of looking at the world and data.

Useful Idea: The ability to suspend the need for every step to be true has allowed a possible new belief to be generated.

Perceptions are the glasses through which we make sense of the world and how we choose to deal with it. If we change our perception we change the problem.

Now we have a possible tool for solving those problems that resist our normal methodology.

Tomorrow we will see if this works.

 

Technorati tags: thinking skills, perspective, problem solving, useful ideas

Creativity and Thinking

Someone creates a new idea that becomes a fad or a new approach that gets implemented as a better solution to problems. We simply  adopt the idea and make it our own.

We are all very good at thinking about and solving problems. A problem is something that requires a decision on action to be taken. Where are we going to go on vacation? What to watch on TV? How to pay our bills? How to get the kids to practices?

We then make a judgement as whether or not we need additional information based on our knowledge of the problem. What kind of information? Where do we get it from? When do we have enough information? What are our time constraints? And so on. Then we make a choice if we have alternatives based on whatever criteria we choose to apply. This is usually what we mean by thinking.

We admire the results of creativity and usually call it a gift. One that we either have or not. We delegate it to the arts such as literature, music, sculpture or to designers from buildings to toys to clothes. There is an aura of mystery and an almost mystical quality to it that we cannot understand; just admire.

What if creativity is just a different type of thinking skill that we could learn and practice?

This is the first post on a mini series on deliberate creativity.

 

Technorati tags: creativity, thinking skills, perspective, personal growth

Web of Reality

We can spend our lives spinning the fabric of our world by weaving our opinions, prejudices, beliefs, strategies and emotions into our version of solid reality. But just like a spider web is damaged by wind, rain and other natural events so is our web of reality. The moment it is damaged in some way we often scurry to rebuild it without questioning until it is solid once more and so we endure a constant battle of reconstruction.

What is this need to continually repair our web answering? It is our need for a place of safety amid the chaos and uncertainty of events. This is where beliefs come into play. It is our beliefs of who we are with our understanding of what reality is that formulates our safety zone; our web, our way of dealing with uncertainty. Can we know what happens next in our lives with certainty? Expectations yes; certainty no. This is common to every human being on this earth.

If we acknowledge this truth of uncertainty rather than ignoring it; then, we can be even more appreciative of the only thing that is certain; our present moment and have the ability to review and modify our beliefs accordingly. We can also then appreciate that everyone else also suffers from this same problem of uncertainty and understand their need to find and defend their beliefs.

Life is the friction of illusion meeting reality. It can burn us up or light a fire in us. The choice is ours to make.

Technorati tags: beliefs, perspective, thinking skills, managing change

I Am Right and You Are Wrong

We often act like there is some kind of absolute truth out there that we have found through thinking in a rational logical progression of thoughts. We know what it is and therefore everyone else should reach the same inescapable conclusion that we have.

But they don't and we end up with a I am right and they are wrong situation where we need to convince the other person to correct their thinking. If they don't then we will if necessary go to war to force them to think correctly.

Farfetched we might say. Then we need to ask is what then were the religious wars, civil rights, abortion, lab experiments on animals, and environmental issues to name but a few; all about. I am right and you are wrong.

Our truths are not out there somewhere for us to discover. We carry them with us. It is generated by our environment, our experiences, our perceptions and not least our emotions.

I am Woman.

I Have a Dream.

Union For Ever.

War of Northern Aggression.

For God and County.

Beat the Huns.

We start out with different ways of looking at things and then use our intelligence and education to support that point of view. The result:

• Everyone is always right
• No one is ever right

We are right in our perceptual world but that world is not anyone else's perceptual world. Once we understand this then we move from I am right and you are wrong stance to exploring each others perceptual worlds to gain an understanding of how they see the world. It is called insight. When this is done then perhaps a combined vision from both viewpoints would lead to a more effective solution.

Food for thought.

RELATED POST:

Our Perceptions and Reality

Technorati tags: thinking skills, truth, perspective, personal growth

Optimism and Pessimism for Planning

A pessimist is a person who expects the worst  and that things are bad, and tend to become worse. There is an advantage to being a pessimist. If things go wrong then they were right. If it does go right then it was luck. As plans tend to never work out exactly and new ventures tend to fail 95% of the time; so the odds are in their favor. They have ample ammunition for their thinking and will rarely take on new challenging goals.

An optimist is a person who is disposed to take a favorable view of things. The advantage to an optimist of this attitude is believing that given time, things will work out in the end. They will take on new and challenging goals without full consideration of the risks involved. They will pay little attention as to why it failed and will tend to repeat their errors.

We need a balance between the two viewpoints when looking at our lives. We need to tread the middle way and use both mindsets in formulating our plans. Start with an optimistic plan then look at with pessimist 's viewpoint to find flaws and holes. Test and research to repair the plan.

Remember that plans are maps only and we will encounter unanticipated events that will require flexibility as we progress to our targets. This approach would more likely produce a valid plan of action.

 

Technorati tags: optimism, pessimism, planning, thinking skills, perspective

Word traps

When we say sad do we mean: blue, dejected, depressed, desolate, dispirited, down, downcast, downhearted, dull, dysphoric, gloomy, heavy-hearted, low, melancholic, melancholy, spiritless, tristful, unhappy, wistful. Or perhaps we mean : doleful, dolorous, lugubrious, mournful, plaintive, rueful, sorrowful, woebegone, woeful.

When someone says that they are sad. What feeling or picture do we get? How likely are they to match? We understand and respond from our experiences. Is that realistic? As an experiment how would we tell someone the feeling without using the general word sad.

Feelings are a range.

If we only use one descriptive word for a feeling then we only have one response. How does that communicate to someone else? How easy would it be for us to miscommunicate? How easy would it be for us to over or under react? Does the word itself trap us into our responses?

The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the use of words. If we can better express the degree of a feeling by using better descriptive words, would we better handle our feelings? Could it possibly lead to less intensity when we label it correctly and therefore not over or under react?

We know for certain that the words we use are our choice. Perhaps we should become more fluent in the language of feelings.

Food for thought.

RELATED POSTS:

Noise or Conversations

Mean What You Say

Watch Your Language

Technorati tags: word traps, perspective, thinking skills, feelings

Top 5 Self-Help Myths

This blog is about thinking; one of our most important skills and offers a perspective for us to consider. On to the list in no particular order and certainly not all inclusive.

#1. Change requires special techniques.

• We buy a new house, car, boat or join a new club. When we think there is a benefit - no problem.
• Detours, weather, our favorite coffee stop closes. When we have no choice - no problem.
• Quit smoking, lose weight, or addictions. - When it is our choice - problem.

Sometimes we may need some medical assistance when there are physical issues involved; but, we can change the only thing that we truly control and that is our behavior. We have to give up something; our old behaviors, and start new ones. One small change leads to new experiences that in turn leads to new changes towards our goals. No special techniques required; just our power of choice.

#2. Just change our feelings.

• Don't think negative thoughts. When we feel sad, angry, or embarrassed just think positive thoughts.
• When we feel depressed think about happy occasions in the past.
• When we get angry at someone else's behavior; just dial it down.
• We can feel happy and good about ourselves all the time.

No amount of skill will stop our emotional response to anything that excites or bothers us.We feel what we feel. Period. Feelings come and go as circumstances change. We can change how we behave with our feelings when they arise. If we choose to.

#3. I know what you think and believe even if you don't.

• Beliefs are hidden from ourselves and someone else has the ability to know what that is even though they do not have knowledge of all of our life experiences and feelings.
• All they can possibly know is their assumptions on our behavior.

Our behavior is our beliefs in action. If we want to know our beliefs just watch our actions and feelings. Does seeing a homeless person cause disgust, pity or compassion? When you see someone with arms loaded approaching the door do you wait and hold it open? Do you greet a new day with a smile or a curse? Beliefs are not hard to find at all. Just pay attention.

#4. If we have this first then we can have that.

• If we can be rich then we won't worry about being such a worrier.
• When we feel good about ourselves then we can take care of our weight problem.

As if feeling good will change our eating habits or being rich would change our worrying habit. We do this because we just don't want to make the change. If we don't; then don't. If we do; then do. It's our life and our choice. Just don't waffle.

#5 We are missing some essential ingredient to make life work.

• There is something out there that we are missing and if we had it then magic will happen and someone else knows what that is.
• That life has rules and we just need to understand them.

Life is not a precise scientific experiment. Life is a chaotic experimental trial and error existence. We have everything we need to conduct our own experiment. Trust our own experiences and accept anything else conditionally.

Food for thought.

Thanks to Darren Rowse and his Top 5 Writing Group Project at Problogger for the inspiration for this post.

Technorati tags: thinking skills, personal growth, perspective, beliefs

Our Perceptions and Reality

A large ornate and colorful chair appears in a jungle clearing. Eyes peer from the surrounding jungle at this object.

First to approach was a man who had never seen such an object before. He circled the chair and cautiously reached out and stroked the chair. After a period of time he reached into his pouch and pulled out his most prized possession and placed it before the chair. He then raced off to tell his friends of his discovery.

Next to appear was a cat who carefully circled the chair and after finding no disturbing odors leapt up and lay down on the chair's soft cushion and dozed in the sun. After a time it jumped down and went hunting.

An explorer came upon the chair and knew what it was and promptly approached and sat down. They glanced around curiously and wondered how it arrived. Then having places to go; got up and left.

A short time later an old bull elephant rambled into the clearing heading straight for the fruit of the marula tree on the opposite side. On the way he crushed the chair under his foot.

Which perception was right?

Reality means different things depending on our perception. We take actions dependent on our understanding. We need to understand this when we don't understand the actions of someone else.

Food for thought.

Inspired by a post at Greg's Brain and well worth reading I Object that I can be Objective

Technorati tags: thinking skills, perspective, reality

Thinking on Addictions

I was asked a question that I feel deserves a post because it is one that has truly fascinated me for some time. This is because of my own history of dealing with my personal addictions and my experiences as a Reiki Master; with energy healing, as a hypnotist; in issues of pain and healing, and when I was teaching Martial Arts; the various aspects of Qi (Chi), prana, mana, ka, and Qigong to name a few.

The question: Addiction. Do you think it is learned? inherited? 

This deals with the field of behavioral genetics and more specifically psychiatric genetics. Studies have at best shown a 50-60% correlation in alcoholism appearing in a family tree. I would rather say that there could be an inherited predisposition to alcoholism. However there are numerous documented twin studies where one of the children becomes an alcoholic and the other doesn't.

Recent research by  Dr. Bruce Lipton and covered in his book The Biology of  Belief revealed that genes do not in fact control our behavior, instead, genes are turned on and off by influences outside the cell. These influences include our perceptions and beliefs.

Dr. Candice Pert's research into peptides has shown that the receptors we have in our brain are also present throughout our bodies. Two of her books; Molecules of Emotion and Your Body is Your Subconscious Mind, in particular cover the interaction of body and mind.

I think that we can inherit genes that predispose people to addictions but it is not a final sentence. The fact that there are documented cases where people have conquered cancer and other diseases, ended addictions and the enigma of the placebo effect have convinced me that our perceptions, beliefs and environment do matter.

My take:

1. Cells react to their environment and modify themselves accordingly. Change the environment and they change.
2. The cells in our bodies die and are replaced including the brain totally every 7 years. Some in minutes, some in days, etc. Over time cells adapt themselves to a new environment that is after we quit smoking or stop drinking the cells adjust and craving decreases or stops.
3. People can make themselves get sick or die. Broken heart syndrome, witch doctors, hypochondriacs, false pregnancies. etc.
4. Quantum scientific discoveries on the fundamental basics of energy.
5. Rich history of yoga and martial arts in extraordinary physical and mental abilities as well as energy projection.
6. Thinking on and changing our perceptions about our past issues changes the impact they have on us.

Food for thought. Enjoy the meal.

Technorati tags: beliefs, thinking skills, perspective, managing change, personal growth, addictions

Number 1 Myth of Self-Help Programs

The first post of this series Thinking About Beliefs was some thoughts on how a belief comes about for ourselves and how we structure the meaning (make sense) of our feelings to external events. Our beliefs are wrapped in many layers of casual experiences that match and build additional supporting beliefs shaped by our perceptions. Once we have accepted it is our belief we rarely reexamine them unless our experiences forces us to.

The second post Fallacy of Limiting Beliefs discussed how the concept of limiting beliefs and discovering their roots using our memory is not our best source for making change. Our behavior comes from our beliefs whether we know about them or not.

Thinking on beliefs is not about I am right and you are wrong but how we come to act in the way we do and how we interpret the feelings that arise from that behavior.

Feelings arise spontaneously from the very fact that we are alive. You cannot suppress feelings. You cannot escape them. Can you stop feeling sad, happy or fearful? Can you turn up the dial on happiness or down to lessen our feeling of sadness? So trying to run away from or change the fact that we will have distressful feelings is a non-starter. We need to simply accept our feelings for what they are. Fleeting experiences that constantly change according to circumstances.

What we can change is how we handle our feelings. If we try to escape our feelings by indulging in behavior that temporarily masks it such as drinking, drugs, gambling or other activities we are doomed to a continual search for the next fix. Pain and suffering are signals that we need to examine our circumstances and determine whether our behavior caused it or was it something beyond our control. If it is something we can't control; accept it. If it is something generated by our behavior then change it and let the resulting experiences and feelings guide us. Just remember that change won't eliminate feelings.

This changing our behavior and evaluating our results will over time construct new beliefs that are more beneficial to us.Usually people embark on self-help programs to eliminate the suffering or pain they are currently experiencing or to obtain more happiness. That this is directly controllable is the Number 1 myth of self-help programs.

There is a good post by Greg at Greg's Brain titled Are You Happy that expands on this topic.

Related Post: The Value of Unpleasant feelings

Technorati tags: managing change, perspective, thinking skills, beliefs

Fallacy of Limiting Beliefs

This is the second post in a three part series. Part 1 Thinking About Beliefs sets the groundwork for this post.

A large number of self-help programs talk about how limiting beliefs are preventing us from achieving the quality of life we want for ourselves by sabotaging our efforts. If we can find the source of this belief then we can change it.

In a word. Crap!

Lets take a little trip down memory lane. What were you feeling exactly 7 1/2 minutes ago? Was your left ear itching 1 hour ago? Think back to the last time you were at the park. How many people were there? What were they wearing? How many cars were in the parking lot? Our memory of events is selective and really doesn't represent reality very well at all. We could easily misrepresent what was happening at that time simply though what our perceptions allowed us to see. So using our memory to seek the causes of our limiting beliefs becomes very questionable.

Don't worry for those of us who believe it is necessary to know the cause in order to change a belief; we can if need be, make up a socially acceptable reason and claim it for our truth and have examples from memory to prove it and not even know that we are making it up.

[Note] A lot of therapies use this step for serious problems as a starting point for action and it can be a very useful tool to examine what we believe in an experts hands.

Let's look at another perspective on limiting beliefs. If you are reading this right now; congratulations. You are a survivor. Your beliefs have allowed you to live in this complex world and keep yourself alive. All of your beliefs. You notice that there is no reference to the quality of your life. That is a whole other issue. You exist today because of your beliefs and not in spite of your beliefs. There are no limiting beliefs when it comes to survival; only necessity. Enough said.

A fallacy or false belief is a misconception resulting from incorrect reasoning. That is why the post is titled as it is. Rather than worrying about our limiting beliefs; how about we acknowledge that our beliefs got us to this point in our lives and we simply want some changes.

Start from where we are; warts, wrinkles and all. Today's reality is our only starting point. It's all we have for a certainty.

Stay tuned for the next post in this series on The Number 1 Myth of Self-Help Programs.

 

Technorati tags: beliefs, personal growth, managing change, false beliefs

Thinking About Beliefs Part 1

This is the first post of a three part series on my thinking about beliefs.

Beliefs are difficult to think about. There are all kinds of definitions as to what a belief is. The one I often use is a quote from Edward de Bono a renowned thinker. "At its most powerful a belief is a perception that forces us to look at the world in such a way that the perception is validated."

The following diagram represents my perspective on how beliefs come about. It starts with a feeling that we have. We then tend to look at our current experiences; that is what is going on in our world at that time, and we naturally assume that they are the cause for that feeling. This is our perception of the causal connection between the feeling and the experience. The next time we have a similar feeling with a similar experience we reinforce our perception (our belief).

As the accumulation of experiences that we match to a particular feeling increases the stronger our certainty that our perception is correct; it is our truth. A belief then is something about which we have the feeling it is true and is so self-evident that the idea of questioning it is just not thought about.

Over time we add supporting beliefs that support the central core belief. The next diagram represents a single belief with the light blue circle being the core belief. The other shapes represent the supporting beliefs.

Let me use an example to illustrate.
We want to belong to our family group as it is essential to our survival. Our parents believe that we should be silent around adults as a sign of being well brought up and properly respectful. We are disciplined by being forced to go to our room or to stand facing the corner until we say that we will behave properly next time. This is repeated until we learn to be silent and are rewarded by being praised by our parents when our behavior is proper. These repeated experiences forms the connection between our experiences, our feelings and our results. Our perception matches our beliefs.

Later on we start school and want very much to be part of the group. We quickly find out that speaking out in the classroom gets the disapproval of the teacher. Now we form a secondary belief that expressing ourselves in school is bad behavior and we tack it on to the original belief. Similarly it could happen with our playmate groups, team sports and so on with the accumulated experiences teaching us that the belief is true. Our perception of how the world works is firmly validated and the belief is firmly rooted as part of our survival mechanism.

Now we cannot see any evidence that the belief is incorrect in any way as our perception filters out any contradiction to the belief. We simply ignore them.

The second post will be on the Fallacy of Limiting Beliefs and the third post on the Number 1 Myth of Self-Help Programs. Stay tuned.

Technorati tags: beliefs, perspective, thinking skills, personal growth

Thinking on Cleverness vs Wisdom

When we are looking at programs of change we should be careful to distinguish between cleverness and wisdom.

Cleverness can be taught to anyone of reasonable mental abilities. For example most people can learn how to drive a car. A smaller group can learn how to drive a transport truck. Most people can learn basic math and English skills. There will be varying levels of cleverness between a high school student and a quantum physicist but the overall criteria is it can be learned; no experience required just practice.

Wisdom is the cognitive process of acquiring a skill or knowledge  qualified by experience. The qualifying factors are first watchfulness: the process of paying close and continuous attention and second the ability to comprehend; to understand and profit from experience. This differs from cleverness in that it requires us to experience something, see the results, evaluate those results, and then modify our actions.

What does this have to do with programs of change?

When I was a practicing hypnotist and meeting a client the first time I would spend the first hour learning about the client, why they chose hypnosis, their expectations, what they had tried before with what results, determined how strongly they wanted the change to happen and most importantly uncovered and discussed any concerns or fears they had about hypnosis. In approximately 20% of the time I would tell them that continuing the program would be a waste of their time and money. I was clever enough to learn the technique of hypnosis but it was experience that taught me the wisdom of saying no when it was necessary.

There are a lot of programs for change offered on the web or in books. If the process does not evaluate your match with the program or include mentoring of some kind then it needs to be looked at carefully. Being fed a canned program will teach the techniques (cleverness) but only properly including evaluation of progress and the discussion and sharing of experiences will lead to wisdom and to an ongoing personal mastery of the change process.

Choose wisely.

Technorati tags: managing change, wisdom, cleverness, thinking skills, programs of change, personal growth

Thinking Skills and Perspective - Assumptions

There is a common way of thinking that can generate a lot of problems for ourselves. Have we ever said after looking around at our acquaintances, casual friends, work group, or at any social gathering; Boy, they have got their stuff together?

We look at other people and assume they don't have the same kinds of problems that we have. That somehow, they have mastered the art of living well and we haven't by a long shot.

The difficulty with this kind of perspective is that we start to assume that I alone suffer and it is a misconception on our part about the basic human condition. From Buddha Net - The First Noble Truth we can read an excerpt that covers it well.

Suffering or dukkha is the common bond we all share. Everybody everywhere suffers. Human beings suffered in the past, in ancient India; they suffer in modern Britain; and in the future, human beings will also suffer. What do we have in common with Queen Elizabeth? - we suffer. With a tramp in Charing Cross, what do we have in common? - suffering. It includes all levels from the most privileged human beings to the most desperate and underprivileged ones, and all ranges in between. Everybody everywhere suffers. It is a bond we have with each other, something we all understand.

When we narrow our perspective and exclude others from that viewpoint then we can far too easily assume it is a problem with us alone. Somehow we have not measured up. Keeping this thought in our minds can lead to a life narrowing obsession based on a false assumption.

We need to challenge our thinking when we start thinking like this and ask questions to determine why we think like this and does it have any basis in reality.

If it does; then, we have a call to take action. If not; then it is time to remind ourselves that we all suffer in different ways. After all, we are all human.

 

Technorati tags: thinking skills, perspective, suffering, self-learning