Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Childish People

The last few posts have been on the subject of anger which most of us have some difficulty in dealing with. This post continues with another viewpoint on anger before leaving this topic for a while.

Have you noticed that some people are almost continuously angry on a day to day basis. Someone or something gets them angry and when we examine their almost tirades about situations that anger them we find that there is a lack of compromise and consideration for others at the bottom of the issue.

It reminds anyone who has been a parent of their children in the preteen years. They are unreasonable whenever they don't get their way, cannot see any other than their own perspective, do petty and viscous actions in retaliation, or go off and pout about the injustice of the world.

Sound familiar? If so then remember that there is no point in getting angry with a child with this nature as it just aggravates the situation. Sometimes imposing penalties or totally ignoring them are the only ways to deal with them.

Dropping down to their level should not be one of your options because then they control you.

Your thoughts?

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Sunday, March 16, 2008

Response to Anger

I was asked recently if I ever got angry. Of course I get angry, sad, happy, and all of the emotions that come along with daily living. I just don't dwell in negative emotions as long as I used to.

By that I mean if we take anger as an example I find that life gives my ego a gentle bruising from time to time and I get angry for the moment until I quickly remember a phrase.

The phrase is "anger is punishing ourselves for something another or ourselves do to us". It is not personal it is just theirs or our frustration when life doesn't behave the way we want it to.

It puts things into perspective and I have learnt to laugh at myself and my ego and let it go. No need to retaliate or to create a poor me episode. It's just life in action and a natural part of living and I control the only thing I can and that is my response.

Your thoughts?

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Friday, March 14, 2008

Keep It In Perspective

We have a tendency to become upset or angry with others who are petulant, mean, rude, argumentative, cruel, and we can certainly make this a very long list from our personal experiences.

We get upset or angry because we feel either they don't respect us or or make unreasonable demands from us according to our personal perspective of the situation.

There is another approach or perspective that can be enjoyed by ourselves when ever we are in these situations. Instead of being upset or angry we can be happy.

We can be happy because it shows us how good our own lives are in that we strive to be accepting and reasonable in our relationships with others whether intimate or casual in nature.

Give a try the next time you feel ourselves getting upset or angry by considering just how unhappy these people are with their lives and the activities  and interactions of life.

it is not worth any of our time being upset and angry because of the actions of others. Keep it in perspective.

Your thoughts?

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Caught Up in Trivia

We can easily lose sight of what is truly important in our lives. We get focused on obtaining the next toy or worrying about status or bemoaning the lack of respect we are given by others.

So if we ask ourselves the question of whether any of what currently upsets or makes us angry would mean if today was our last day alive; what might we answer.

We have no guarantee that we will be here tomorrow other than our wishful thinking. So perhaps we shouldn't get so wrapped up in the trivia of life rather than the things that give it meaning. What that would be is very individual to each of us and we should honour that commitment to ourselves. After all it is ourselves who give the meaning to our lives.

Live everyday as if it were your last because someday it will be so don't waste it by being caught up in trivia.

Your thoughts?

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Thursday, March 6, 2008

Spectator Sport

Some people act as if they live in a fishbowl or better yet a stadium. They constantly worry how what they are doing looks to other people. Perhaps they feel life gets scored just like a game and they need to have a perfect game.

They play by the rules that are established or they presume are established by others. They find it hard to change their mind as life throws wrinkles into their plans as it would appear to them to label them a quitter or lacking in something.

It becomes extremely hard to live with constant change while trying to fix the rules and freeze roles for the others involved as life just will not be static. So when we give the rationale for our actions as if we are to be judged by the spectators of our life then we stop having a life.

We are totally responsible for our actions to ourselves. The choices we make are totally ours. The result is ours. Don't give it away to the spectators who do not and will not accept responsibility for our lives.

Life - a spectator sport OR your choices.

Your thoughts?

Wednesday, March 5, 2008


The most stressful situation we can find ourselves in is one of indecision. We just know which decision is the right one where the outcome is not certain. We can end up suffering from ambiguity.

We make a decision at 10:00 o'clock and at 10:30 we revisit the decision and decide the other way and so on throughout the day. We just are of committing to one decision or the other.

The problem becomes that no decision is still a decision and we can end up running out of time and we could become overrun by events that take the decision away from us.

Sometimes we simply have to stop looking at consequences and look to what small action we could take that would help us decide. Instead of deciding by guesswork we look for that one piece of information that will help us decide. in this way we get out of the problem box we have put ourselves in.

Your thoughts?

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Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Changing Others

We can find all kinds of books and information on how to influence people and about relationships. Most follow the illusion that we have the ability to change others. Simply not true.

Yes we can stop or modify someone else's behaviour when we have power over them as a boss, parent, or represent an organization that has the power to penalize us such as courts or police.

But that is really an outward appearance of compliance to avoid penalties we don't want applied to us.  But think to our own lives and ask whether that actually changed us or not.

The only person that can change us is ourselves. People enter into relationships with the idea that they can change the other person's faults through the power of the relationship and then wonder why it didn't work.

We can save ourselves a lot of anguish and pain if we learn that we have to accept others just as they are. Perhaps through our example they will see other ways of living that may or may not try.

But the bottom line is that only they can decide to change.

Your thoughts?

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Sunday, March 2, 2008

Magic At All Ages

There is something that we generally acknowledge is part of our early childhood. We believe in imaginary things such as Santa Claus, fairies, dragons, warlocks, and invisible friends. We laugh with them and allow them to enjoy them as we are reminded of how magical the world was to us at that age.

Somehow along the way we learn to be realistic, to be practical, to have both feet firmly on the ground and as a result lost something precious to our well being.

We the magic of life in all it's splendour and magic. We lost the full use of our imagination which made everyday events dance and sparkle with a life of it's' own.

We are all intimately involved with the magic of life. We breathe in is that not magic. We taste a strawberry is that not magic. We can go on a hero's quest in our mind is that not magic.

When we fail to see, feel and hear the magic of life are we not living less than fully. Magic is everywhere but only if look for it.

Your thoughts?