Unhappy

We seem to have a consistent and never ending ability to make ourselves unhappy. If we are happy there seems to be a little voice in the background saying it won't last or in some way we don't deserve it. It is part of a protective cover we maintain so that we don't get hurt and we can say see I told you it wouldn't last.
The trouble is that attitudes like this are self-fulfilling. We make them come true so that we don't have to deal with the true underlying issue of self-worth, our purpose in life, or pay attention to open issues we have yet to deal with.
Being happy and making others happy is one of the few fundamental freedoms where it is directly our choice. So if happiness is a choice then why don't we choose it more often?
Your thoughts?

Seeking Happiness

We all goals that we are actively seeking such as wealth, relationships, dream job, and so on; but, few seem to be actively pursuing happiness. We seem to adopt an attitude that it is beyond our control and just accept and be thankful if it should come.
We need to take responsibility for our own happiness. How? By studying in minute detail all the events and things that make us feel great and actively taking steps to bring more of them into our lives on a consistent basis. We need to pay attention to what is going on in our lives and use that knowledge to make our lives better in every way.
An interesting challenge for those who believe they have no control over how they feel.
Your thoughts?

Success

We get trained early to strive for success. Our kindergarten pictures on the wall of the classroom marked with a star. The A's throughout grade school. Winning recognition for excellence during high school in sports or academics. The scholarships and prestige of attending the right school. The right career.  

We chase our pot of gold under our rainbows running from one to another chasing that elusive prize called success. Some turn bitter as if the juice of life has been sucked out of their existence for the lack of achieving it. Some chase it to the end of their days believing that it is just around the corner.

Some find their pot of gold but it is not what many consider to be success. They find that their relationships transform their lives and provide a richness of joy which is immeasurably better and happier than anything else they have achieved.

So each to their own definition as long as it leads to happiness in their lives.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: happiness, success, living fully

Happiness

I like to revisit what I believe to be our primary purpose in living our lives. I write about it in various ways to provide different perspectives in the hope that at some point it makes us think about it and consider it.

That our happiness is not a frivolous flyweight fantasy but is indeed a legitimate and satisfying purpose for our lives.

One must practice the things which produce happiness, since if that is present we have everything and if it is absent we do everything in order to have it. ~ Epicurus

Happiness seems to come in moments when we feel no internal conflicts and we feel at harmony with self and the world. We accept all that is and our place in the scheme of things including our desires and our judgements. Very much like children.

It does not mean that we have thrown away our responsibilities and are carefree in that sense but that we are not in conflict with those responsibilities and their demands. It also does not mean that we do not have external conflicts, issues, doubts, fears that arise from the shear fact of living.

We have fully accepted our human condition and found the  ability to love ourselves and forgive ourselves especially when we screw up. We have also learnt not to take ourselves too seriously and realize that both the highs and lows will indeed pass with time. We have learnt to extend that same love and forgiveness to others.

Happiness does not come automatically. It is not a gift that good fortune bestows on us and a reversal of fortune takes back. It depends on us alone. One does not become happy overnight, but with patient labor, day after day. Happiness is constructed, and that takes effort and time. In order to become happy, we have to learn how to change ourselves. ~ Luca and Francesco Cavalli-Sporza

 Your thoughts?

Related Posts:

Seeking Happiness

What is Happiness

Happiness and Goals

Happiness as a Purpose

Technorati tags: happiness

Thirty Seconds a Day

There is a simple remedy to help us have a great life. It costs nothing but the discipline to do it everyday. It is painless and guaranteed to work if we choose to use it.

Every morning before we wash our hands, face, or shower to start the day; take 30 seconds and smile at ourselves in the mirror. If we can't smile naturally then help it along by using our fingers and pushing up on each side of our mouth.

This will certainly bring a smile or laugh when we see ourselves in the mirror. It will be impossible to feel down or depressed when we smile.

By the way we can smile for longer than 30 seconds if we want to. Can you think of any better way to start every day.

To simple?

Technorati tags: morning routine, attitude

What is Happiness

I remember a quiet summer morning on my 650cc Triumph with the sun just starting to peep over the horizon. The wind was rushing through my hair and a grin stretched from ear to ear as I took a long gently rounded curve the world to myself. Time vanished.

I remember a fall morning with the trees a riot of color and the shafts of sunbeams piercing through the leaves. Dancing dust particles twinkled like forest sprites as I danced along .

I remember sitting at a table under an old tree all gnarled and providing a mystical music with the gentle breeze whispering through the leaves.

I used to try and capture those magical moments to preserve them for all time. The moment I tried they vanished before I could take a breath.

Happiness is not found through seeking and capturing it to be bottled for a rainy day. It is more like a sneak thief that arrives without a sound and is suddenly there.

Happiness is being at peace with yourself and totally immersed in the wonder of the universe. It only needs for us to make a place in our hearts to hold it for the moment and then let it go. It is in the unexpected moments accepting all that is that it arises naturally and spontaneously.

All we need is to just make room for it to fill us up.

Technorati tags: happiness, perspective, personal growth

Happiness as a Purpose

I remember reading Edward De Bono's "The Happiness Purpose" years ago and later on the quote "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" by the Dalai Lama and thinking it can't be that simple and went on my way trying to find my purpose in life. I searched and read and searched again looking into every nook and cranny of my mind. Tried various programs, read the the gurus of finding your purpose, followed every avenue I could find, tried to the lose the selfish I, and finally came full circle back the Dalai Lamas' statement and found that it is true.

Why?

It is both I and we. It is I because the only person on this earth that can define happiness for me; is me. Selfish of me isn't it. Happiness is a feeling I have and I have complete control over it. I choose what I allow to affect it; no one else has that power unless I give it to them. It is we because it is the feelings I get when I am part of some one elses happiness whether as a cause or in the sharing. I have to pay attention and really get to know the other person and it is a natural extension of my happiness to seek ways that will aid in another's happiness. (Always remember that you cannot make someone else happy unless they want to be happy themselves.) It starts with the I and moves to the we and back to the I. A constantly revolving and evolving circle.

If you want to know your purpose in life. Don't look outside for someone else to provide it. You won't find it there. Look at what makes you happy. Are your relationships making you happy? If yes, pursue them, indulge in them. Is your career making you happy. If yes, then pursue and immerse yourself in it. Does working for or with charities make you happy? Then go for it. Is the balance between your activities making you unhappy? Then seek and find a balance that makes you happy. If you don't know what makes you happy then go seek it out.

Before you dismiss it like I did for so many years as being to simplistic and not practical; try it out, play with it, examine it and see if you don't end up treasuring it.

Make happiness your purpose.

Please comment and give your viewpoint.

Technorati tags: happiness, thinking skills, purpose, self-learning