Patience

There are undervalued skills in this time of instant communication, instant social groups, instant news and needing instant results.
Most of us when we are making a change or achieving a goal tend to go overboard. Jumping into anything or everything that can stack the odds in our favor to complete the change/goal instantly without any consideration for our current habits and skills.
We often attempt most times to change too much and do it too quickly when it requires overturning the habits and thinking patterns we had for years and require new skills we don't currently have.
Perhaps the skills we need to develop and master before trying radical change are timing, appropriate choice of goals and above all patience.
Your thoughts?

Fantasy or Dream

There is a very subtle trap that we can easily fall into if we are not careful. When asked want we want or dream about we talk about our fantasies or our wish list. How do we know it is our fantasy? There is no specific plan to achieve it. It is like winning the lottery where we wish to win but wait for it to fall into our lap with no effort or sacrifice on our part and therefore little emotional commitment.
A dream is something we want to achieve and we feel intensely about it with a huge emotional commitment. We visit our dream each day and look for all opportunities to move toward our dream.
So if we are not making progress of any type (other than buying a lottery ticket) then we have a fantasy or wish list and recognize that.
Your thoughts?

Control

If we look closely we would find that there is a relationship between fear of change and being controlling where ever possible in our lives. We tend to be controlling when we try to freeze life into a particular mould and in that way fix our future.

However we can all appreciate that life tends to ignore controls and moulds despite our best efforts. the bottom line is that we could spend our entire life being frustrated by our attempts to control the winds of life. They blow hot or cold, fast or slow, from a gentle breeze to a cyclone regardless of our desires.

like sailors we need to learn how to adapt to the winds and use whatever comes up to push us in the direction we want to go and so eventually arrive at our desired destination. There will be times we are becalmed and times we need to batten down the hatches and seek sheltered moorings while the gale blows.

Sailors work with the winds and accept whatever comes which is a great attitude for sailing through life.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: managing change, adapting, flexibility, control

Just Start

When we have big dreams and big hopes we have a tendency to spend time making sure we have the best possible odds in our favor. Nothing wrong with that desire but it can and does become a form of procrastination.

Every day that goes by usually gives us more problems to solve and more i's to dot and t's to cross. It will be never ending and usually leads to us to abandoning our dream till a better time arises which never comes.

What we need to remember is that even the most important matters have a unique and simple beginning although we usually do not recognize it to long after. Most of us meet our future significant other or start our career by chance not by design. We take advantage of an opportunity that later leads to great rewards by simple taking a action that is simple.

Sometimes we can accomplish more by just starting and then changing as our circumstances change and new opportunities that the results of our actions provide come up for us. Each in itself simple steps but lead us somewhere profound.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: start, simplicity, dreams

Magic Carpets

There is a unspoken belief generally held that when we are following our heart's desire that we will be swept away by rapture and all things will become enjoyable.

Nothing could be further from the truth. We will still need to take out the garbage, change the diapers, sit in the local parking lot called rush hour. pay bills and so on.

Life continues while we are fulfilling our quest and we must meet it's demands no matter how petty or time consuming they may be. It would be nice to have a magic carpet to whisk us away from the mundane and bestow the gift of success without dealing with what has to be done.

When we are looking for that magic carpet and ignoring all other opportunities that would involve doing some things we don't like doing then we will fail. Which may be why so many people never embark on the journey that would create the dream they have.

After a while we can get in the habit of only looking for the impossible and so end up at the end of our life not having tried anything.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: impossible quests

Living large

When things are going wrong some people have the tendency to sit down and look for answers in what they are not doing.

You can't define what you should be doing by what you are not doing. That is just negative space. We are not doing it simply because there is no compelling reason to do so.

We need to look for those things that whisper quietly in our ear. The things that we wish for. There is where we will find our inspiration that will carry us through the trials and tribulations of life.

If we are not going for the things that inspire us then we are just getting by; just surviving. If we want to live large then we need to dream large and today is a good day to start.

Can you do one thing today that works towards your dream?

Technorati tags: dreams, goals, personal growth

Too Much Truth

We may want to make a major change to accomplish a desired goal and find that we run into trouble at almost every turn. This is not an uncommon problem.

It arises from the fact that our beliefs, truths, and habits are like an interwoven multicolor ball of wool that have built up in layers over the years as our lives grew more complex and diversified.

Now we have reached a point that we want to change a major belief or habit. The real root issue is that beliefs are our truths that we have held and bound our experiences to and the result is like the famous Gordian knot. Now we are attempting to duplicate the feat of Alexander and cut through it with one swipe of the sword. 

It could result in trying to change too much truth all at once and it may overwhelm us and stop us in our tracks. If we reach this barrier then we need to change our approach.

We could treat a major change more like peeling the layers of an onion. Each layer represents truths, beliefs, and experiences that we have to restructure in the context of the new belief that we wish to hold. As with peeling an onion we have tears (emotions) that we need to stop and wipe our eyes and wait a moment to let the effect evaporate. Layer by layer we can steadily approach our goal of changing our beliefs and truths until it is done.

Not all things can be fixed by approaching it with a sword.

What has been your experience?

Technorati tags: managing change, beliefs, truth, perspective. personal growth

Optimism and Pessimism for Planning

A pessimist is a person who expects the worst  and that things are bad, and tend to become worse. There is an advantage to being a pessimist. If things go wrong then they were right. If it does go right then it was luck. As plans tend to never work out exactly and new ventures tend to fail 95% of the time; so the odds are in their favor. They have ample ammunition for their thinking and will rarely take on new challenging goals.

An optimist is a person who is disposed to take a favorable view of things. The advantage to an optimist of this attitude is believing that given time, things will work out in the end. They will take on new and challenging goals without full consideration of the risks involved. They will pay little attention as to why it failed and will tend to repeat their errors.

We need a balance between the two viewpoints when looking at our lives. We need to tread the middle way and use both mindsets in formulating our plans. Start with an optimistic plan then look at with pessimist 's viewpoint to find flaws and holes. Test and research to repair the plan.

Remember that plans are maps only and we will encounter unanticipated events that will require flexibility as we progress to our targets. This approach would more likely produce a valid plan of action.

 

Technorati tags: optimism, pessimism, planning, thinking skills, perspective

Mindsets

A late post today as I had to run out and buy a new router.

Digital Nomads tagged me on a meme What is a Digital Nomad that got me thinking about Mindsets. What is a Mindset? It is a mentality: a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations.

So this led me to ask how can you discover what that mindset needs to be. A useful exercise that would apply to any major change such as a career redirection, having children, new goals and the like.

I remembered reading a post by Beth at mylifestartsatfortytwo.com titled What is the Personality of the Company which I thought was a good approach. Here I am using partial quote from the post "I think everyone should think long and hard about what type of environment they are comfortable working in" for this exercise.

So what would be the environment of a Digital Nomad?

• They would need to be self-sufficient as help is not always down the hall or even on the same continent.
• Appropriate to today's issue. How do I maintain or replace equipment.
• What are my minimal equipment requirements.
• They would need the ability to fit in wherever they were and adjust to local customs when necessary.
• They would need the ability to meet people easily.
• They would have to be able to handle sometimes long absences from friends.
• They would need the ability to communicate well digitally appropriate to needs of their work and personal needs.
• They would need to be able to handle periods of loneliness or being alone.
• Attracting a significant other into their life would be difficult.

Doing this exercise allows me to determine whether or not the digital nomad lifestyle is for me or not and steps I can take to test out things in a small way first. For example book a room 200 miles away for a weekend and work from there. If I find it is too frustrating then I will need to rethink my goals.

I will be following the meme with interest to see what other things I need to include in the new environment I would be entering to think about.

Technorati tags: managing change, thinking skills, perspective

Plans Are Like Maps

Have you ever planned a trip somewhere? I remember a bicycle trip a group of us planned from Toronto to Quebec City (809 Km/503 miles). We poured over maps and carefully planned every detail. How far we would travel in a day. Where we would stop for the night. What route we would take. What we would carry with us. What time of the year we would go. Our preparation training runs. Boy, we were prepared.

We set off early one spring morning and the weather was perfect. Our route through Toronto was carefully planned so that we would avoid heavy traffic. Well, we got through after negotiating 2 detours and 1 accident holdup and finally arrived at our first nights stop 3 hours late and barely made it to our motel before our reservation would have been canceled.

Determined we set out the next day along a old Highway little traveled. What we discovered was the towns were almost exactly 2 hours traveling apart ( a half days travel by buggy) and we would stop at each town to stretch. Almost immediately the old-timers sitting on the benches out front of the General Store would come over and start talking to us.

They would tell of sights to see and routes to avoid or better ways to get to the next town. We saw some spectacular scenery taking their advice and shortly we had decided to cancel all of our scheduled stops and make arrangements on a daily basis. On the trip we had muscle injuries, bicycle breakdowns that needed a bike shop owner to open up on a Sunday and somehow found all the steepest hills we had ever ridden.

But we had fun and I still remember it to this day with warmth as being one of my best vacations. That happened because we let go of the carefully detailed plan and adapted day by day to the surprises that life threw at us. And yes we did arrive at our destination.

We need to remember that plans are like maps. They don't represent the physical reality just our expectations. Be prepared to change the how's to match what is going on and arrive at the destination just by a different route than we expected.

Related Posts:

The Distance Travelled

Technorati tags: planning, perspective, thinking skills

Goals and Self-Hypnosis

Several of my readers have expressed an interest in learning more about self-hypnosis. [disclosure I am a certified hypnotist] I will start with a caution. If you have a medical condition that you are seeing a doctor about you should read the following article Scientific American - The Truth and the Hype of Hypnosis and discuss with your doctor.

Lets start with what hypnosis is. All hypnosis is self-hypnosis and I like to use the phrase focused attention. The bottom line is a hypnotist cannot hypnotize anyone. If we could then I would become very rich by choosing 200+ people and sending them out to rob a bank, turn the money over to me and then having them forget about it. Instant Wealth.

A hypnotist is more like a coach who helps a person become hypnotized. The key ingredients are a pleasant voice, the ability to modulate pitch and inflection in their voice, the ability to form a bond of trust and rapport, and a practiced delivery. The rest is up to you. Some of us work better with a coach and others like to take care of it ourselves. That is simply a matter of choice.

Not everyone has the same ability to be hypnotized. Some people find it easy and in fact can enter it on their own easily by listening to music, reading, watching a movie or simply by relaxing while others find it difficult to get into a state of focused attention. It is an inherent ability and rarely changes with practice.

Self-hypnosis can be a great tool for aiding us in accomplishing goals by helping to stop our "yes, but" mind chatter and integrating our emotional and spiritual aspects with mental thinking about our goals. We can feel what it would be like for us as if the goal were already accomplished. That increases the likelihood of it actually happening and strengthening our persistence towards reaching the goal despite set backs.

I have been asked for a script for a self-hypnosis program to teach yourselves that skill. I should have it finished and a file with instructions on how to use it within the next week and I will let you know when I have it done with a link for downloading.

Technorati tags: self-learning, self-hypnosis, goals, thinking skills

When Not to Use Hypnosis for Goals

Hypnosis just doesn't work if you need convincing.

If you are going to a hypnotist to have them give you an answer; I would tell you that you would have more success doing some searching and reading and picking an answer out of the air.

Hypnosis works when you have a clear goal in mind but are having conflicting emotions about going for it. Working with a hypnotist will bring out the conflicts and provide some help for relieving some of the stress the conflict is causing. A good hypnotist will lead you through a process for reinforcing the positive emotions and diminishing the intensity of negative emotions that will aid you in accomplishing your goal. The key is that you must want  that goal. This is why trying to have someone else convince you will rarely work. Read previous posts on purpose and knowledge

Hypnosis is also very good for creating a set of tools to help you change your focus when dealing with issues of pain or lessening the intensity of emotions when dealing with painful thoughts from past events. Depending on the severity the hypnotist could be part of a medical team working under their guidance.

Hypnosis then is best used as an additional tool for you to use in accomplishing your chosen goals rather than a means to create your goals.

[Disclosure] I am a certified hypnotist through the National Guild of Hypnotists

 

Technorati tags: hypnosis, managing change, thinking, goals, perspective

Shane Bernier World Record Wish

It is rare that we have the opportunity to change someone's world. I had posted about Shane earlier today but in thinking about I did not want to have it buried in a listing.

Shane is a 7 year old cancer patient and he has 1 wish for his birthday on May 30 2007. He wants to break the Guinness world record for the most number of birthday cards received.

What a change his world accomplishment it would be. I don't have a large readership of my blog but I do belong to a number of communities. I am hoping that others will pick up on this wish and either blog or pass it on to others.

The story is here.

[UPDATE]

Thanks to Mike at Ordinary Folk you can see a video of Shane.

Technorati tags: World record, wish, change the world, inspiration

Cultivate the Stillness Within

One of our best resources is ourselves. As covered in the last two posts a key element for staying on track for our goals, vision or purpose is checking our happiness quotient. We can only do this in moments of quiet reflection. One of the key benefits of a retreat, a pilgrimage, meditation, a walk in the woods, yoga or any similar activity is that it gives us time away from our everyday distractions. It is impossible to have quiet time if we are wired 24/7 or rushing constantly from task to task. All the great thinkers from Buddha to Albert Einstein made time for reflection. All great religions advocated the benefits of pilgrimages and retreats.

Why?

Free from the burdens of normal everyday living our mind can drop the need to act or respond immediately to outside activities. We can ask ourselves questions and in reflection let the answers unfold. It is in the quiet moments that we realign ourselves with our purpose, rediscover what makes us happy, find creative solutions to perplexing problems, find the things we are grateful for, and put problems into perspective. The mind like a muscle needs the relaxation to regroup, refresh and grow. 

The amount of time we take does depend on our obligations but there will always be at least 15 minutes a day that we can take for ourselves. Just like we take care of the need to eat and sleep; we need to take the time for reflection.

Take the time to be present with ourselves daily and we will always be on track for our destination and enjoying our journey on the way.

Technorati tags: success in life, thinking skills, reflection, purpose

Accomplishing Goals

There was a young man named Godwin, who went seeking the wise elder Nowcleomind. He walked through the woods to the glade where the elder lived in quiet harmony and after introducing himself sat on the porch with him. Godwin said that he had been reading books on how to become rich and had created his vision and focused day and night on that vision for the last two years and had not accomplished anything. What was he doing wrong? Nowcleomind sipped his tea and in a soft voice asked Godwin to find him a rock. The puzzled young man went searching for a rock and returned placing it on the table. Nowcleomind told Godwin to concentrate as hard as he could and move the rock. Godwin furrowed his brow and concentrating as hard as he could on a vision of the rock moving until covered in sweat he gave up and said he couldn't do it. Nowcleomind picked up the rock and threw it away and looking at Godwin said thought without action just leaves you sweating.

Are you sweating or acting?

 

Technorati tags: goals, thinking