We all know about 4 letter swear words; you hear them all the time. What about the ones nobody thinks about? What did you feel the last time someone said you were "nice". Nice is a word I used when my grandmother gave me a pair of socks for my birthday when I was 9. How many times have you heard or said "I've got to work" and everyone nods sadly because they instantly know what you mean and how you mean it. Have you ever used the phrase "That's kind of you to ..." when you really wanted to say "No thanks"?
Our words project what we feel and think and the other person or persons know and are drawn to you or away from you by their use. Communication is a skill you need to master because you usually have only one chance to make a good impression in meeting someone for the first time or if you are interested in building a deeper rapport in a budding relationship.
Effective communication requires that you be present and focused and not sending an ambiguous message that leaves you wondering why they reacted the way they did.
What I would say today to my grandmother is "Thank you grandma, I really appreciate your gift"; and I would because she bothered to get me one at all. It's not the gift but the act of giving that I am appreciating.
It's a skill that will improve with practice. Give it the attention it deserves and mean what you say.
3 conversations:
Thanks again Peter for the wonderful post. I read your site after my daily proverb and I get something out of every post.
Today: Mean What I Say.
I try to do this already, but now I'll avoid using the word "nice" and "cool".
I commonly respond by saying, "That's cool." Or, "Nice."
From now on I'll actually respond with how I feel.
now that sounds like very good advice to me....
smiles, bee
A lot of people nowadays seem to say things as if they're scripted. I don't know. I just hope that most of us would do mean what we say. Otherwise, I would prefer not to hear anything at all instead.
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