This blog is about thinking; one of our most important skills and offers a perspective for us to consider. On to the list in no particular order and certainly not all inclusive.
#1. Change requires special techniques.
- We buy a new house, car, boat or join a new club. When we think there is a benefit - no problem.
- Detours, weather, our favorite coffee stop closes. When we have no choice - no problem.
- Quit smoking, lose weight, or addictions. - When it is our choice - problem.
Sometimes we may need some medical assistance when there are physical issues involved; but, we can change the only thing that we truly control and that is our behavior. We have to give up something; our old behaviors, and start new ones. One small change leads to new experiences that in turn leads to new changes towards our goals. No special techniques required; just our power of choice.
#2. Just change our feelings.
- Don't think negative thoughts. When we feel sad, angry, or embarrassed just think positive thoughts.
- When we feel depressed think about happy occasions in the past.
- When we get angry at someone else's behavior; just dial it down.
- We can feel happy and good about ourselves all the time.
No amount of skill will stop our emotional response to anything that excites or bothers us.We feel what we feel. Period. Feelings come and go as circumstances change. We can change how we behave with our feelings when they arise. If we choose to.
#3. I know what you think and believe even if you don't.
- Beliefs are hidden from ourselves and someone else has the ability to know what that is even though they do not have knowledge of all of our life experiences and feelings.
- All they can possibly know is their assumptions on our behavior.
Our behavior is our beliefs in action. If we want to know our beliefs just watch our actions and feelings. Does seeing a homeless person cause disgust, pity or compassion? When you see someone with arms loaded approaching the door do you wait and hold it open? Do you greet a new day with a smile or a curse? Beliefs are not hard to find at all. Just pay attention.
#4. If we have this first then we can have that.
- If we can be rich then we won't worry about being such a worrier.
- When we feel good about ourselves then we can take care of our weight problem.
As if feeling good will change our eating habits or being rich would change our worrying habit. We do this because we just don't want to make the change. If we don't; then don't. If we do; then do. It's our life and our choice. Just don't waffle.
#5 We are missing some essential ingredient to make life work.
- There is something out there that we are missing and if we had it then magic will happen and someone else knows what that is.
- That life has rules and we just need to understand them.
Life is not a precise scientific experiment. Life is a chaotic experimental trial and error existence. We have everything we need to conduct our own experiment. Trust our own experiences and accept anything else conditionally.
Food for thought.
Thanks to Darren Rowse and his Top 5 Writing Group Project at Problogger for the inspiration for this post.