Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Key Distinctions

We have a tendency when we are very unhappy with our life and the way it is going to throw the baby out with the bath water. We are frustrated that our dreams that we have for ourselves seem to be out of our reach. We become desperate.

In this state we feel that the only thing we can do to put the dreams within reach for us is to throw away what we have and seek a totally new path. This is when relationships can end, careers abandoned and desperate actions taken.

For a few this may be the only route they have to take. But for others what is needed is a careful examination of both what we desire to have happen in our lives and more importantly what we already have.

We may be at a point that our original goals are at odds with what we thought we wanted and now it is time to adjust our goals to who we are now.

We may need to adjust what we define as success and find that we have already accomplished our goals just in a way different than we envisioned.

We may need to drop some unrealistic goals and relax and broaden our goals to accept new challenges that have meaning for us while keeping what is important to us.

These are just a few of the key distinctions that we need to make before we throw the baby out with the bath water.

What would you add to this list?

12 conversations:

Free SMS Andy said...

Another one - take a holiday and really think about what is bothering you.

I've come really close to throwing the baby out with the bath water on a few occasions...

Peter Haslam said...

Yes free sms andy we defintely need to take time to consider things

Comedy + said...

This post is very deep. Here is a piece from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran that I think applies.

And a man said, Speak to us of Self-Knowledge.

And he answered, saying: Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.

But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart's knowledge.

You would know in words that which you have always known in thoughts.

You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams...

Peter Haslam said...

Delightful Sandee and very appropriate addition to the conversation. Thank you

Elizabeth said...

I know lots of expats that picked up and moved to Italy to follow a dream, start over, re-boot, or whatever. After the honeymoon, reality hits and they realize that life abroad is not "a dream" and the old problems crop up again, because they never went away, just changed language and continent. Back to the drawing board which (thanks Comedy) is always self-knowledge. funny how that follows you around -- maybe try Mars?

Peter Haslam said...

Nothing truer said Elizabeth. Well stated and right on target

Comedy + said...

Here's the rest of The Prophet

And it is well you should.

The hidden well-spring of your soul must needs rise and run murmuring to the sea;

And the treasure of your infinite depths would be revealed to your eyes.

But let there be no scales to weigh your unknown treasure;

And seek not the depths of your knowledge with staff or sounding line.

For self is a sea boundless and measureless.

Say not, "I have found the truth," but rather, "I have found a truth."

Say not, "I have found the path of the soul." Say rather, "I have met the soul walking upon my path."

For the soul walks upon all paths.

The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed.

The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.

Peter Haslam said...

Thanks Sandee I am glad you added the rest to make it complete

Shine said...

Peter,

"Throwing the baby out with the bath water...", sometimes it's really hard to tell whether we should give up altogether or a slight change in strategy is all we need.

Thanks for the reflection. I kept being amazed by your posts day after day. A lot to think about, if we are really serious about life, right?

Peter Haslam said...

Not all at once Shine :) sometimes we can get stuck and need a different perspective

Random Magus said...

Sometimes we are are very ready to give up on our dreams when it turns out that there is far more effort to make them come true. But if we do stick to them - when they do come true, it's all worth it!

Peter Haslam said...

Absolutely Random Magus a very good point