Possible Futures

Our vision can become obscured by our doubts of making the future we want. We can sometimes dismiss our vision because we can't see how to accomplish it or worse feel that somehow we don't deserve it.

We say yeah right that's pie in the sky stuff let's get practical and realistic. When we make those kind of statements to ourselves we deny our own potentiality, our own creativity, and our own drive to bring it about.

Any future can be. How can a future be impossible? If it were not possible then it would be the past, fixed and unchangeable. The present is the transformational point through our efforts.

We shouldn't settle for scraps when anything is possible.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: future, vision

Finding Out Why

When we get unexpected results or unintended consequences to our actions we can spend a lot of time and effort in trying to answer the question why. Often there is no real single undeniable why for us to discover there is instead a whole pile of little whys that have ganged up to give us our result.

We presumably do this in order to prevent it from happening again. It never will because we will never have the same set of circumstances, people, events, and opportunities again. That's right never.

The better question to ask is where were we blind either through ignorance or from us ignoring what didn't want to know even when it was staring us in the face. In this way we work on the thing that we can change rather than things beyond our control and that is ourselves.

Wisdom is learning the lessons about ourselves and others and applying them better. So perhaps we needn't look so hard for the why outside of ourselves and make better decisions and better actions until we get it right.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: lessons, why, results

The Adventure of Learning

Learning is a lifelong process. The moment we stop being open to and embracing learning we stagnate and soon become obsolete in today's rapid pace of change.

Some people reach a certain stage and stop. They may be smart people but they are not wise. They assume that they have enough knowledge and expertise to last for their lifetime. A mistake and a very narrow viewpoint of what learning is.

It is not a penalty we pay by getting through school but a gift we can partake of to enrich all aspects of our lives. Learning is about discovering ourselves by exploring our interests. Learning is about expanding our horizons and finding new ways to express all that we can be. Learning is discovering just how fascinating other people are and gives a richness to relationships that is there for us to learn.

Learning never stops and then maybe we can learn to be wise. Who knows what the limits are. Are we up for the adventure of learning?

Your thoughts?

 

Technorati tags: learning, lessons, change

Not Really a Philosophy

I was asked what my philosophy on life is because I write so much about different perspectives on issues we all face. I thought about that and determined that I really don't have a philosophy because to me that is a static statement trying to encompass the dynamics of our lives.

I believe that life is constantly changing and for that reason I really can't say I am anything permanent and unchanging. My life seems to go through cycles. Starting with wanting to know what I am and then what am I capable of becoming and then striving to become that.

During this ongoing process of change I reevaluate what I am on a regular basis or after any noticeable change and repeat the cycle. Not really a philosophy at all; more of a recognition that it is almost impossible to state I am something for any longer than the next change that life deals.

I have of course moral and ethical guidelines that limit my choices of action as they should but that is always in light of circumstances and doing the right thing as I determine it to be as I am ultimately the one who owns the consequences.

Your thoughts?

Criticism

We all read about success stories and how those people overcame all kinds of obstacles to achieve it. Their success is documented and the steps clearly laid out so that we can follow in their footsteps. Will it happen that way? Perhaps! But not likely for most of us.

Each persons success story is unique and comes about through their characteristics, their friends, opportunities, and courage. It doesn't mean that we can't follow them just not exactly in their footsteps.

Even if the path to success becomes clear it doesn't mean we can follow, it depends on our strengths, our resolution, our courage, and our skill in swaying others to do our bidding. Success is primarily based on our ability to convince others to share our vision.

That takes passion. Something that most of us don't exhibit because it scares people. They think of the results of failure first and then possibly taking hesitant steps towards it. That just won't cut it. We need to be unafraid of criticism because it will come out of the woodwork when people are afraid of jumping on our bandwagon.

It is better to be criticized for our passion than to be silent in fear of criticism.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: criticism, goals, commitment

Illusion of Safety

Some people just hate having choices because it makes them responsible for their results and they want to be able to blame everything else other than themselves if it goes wrong. Nobody wants egg on their face.

That's why long term stable positions are sought after and held close when they are obtained. It doesn't matter if it is interesting, challenging, brings out our best, as long as it is stable.

What they fail to realize is that just because they make no choices does not mean that they aren't making a choice. We know everything changes some slowly and some instantly but all things change. When we don't make a conscious choice then we allow everyone else to make that choice for us.

There is no such thing as standing on the sidelines in life as a spectator. If we live we are participants. There is no risk free path for us to take. There is no refuge from life where we can take a time out. 

We might say that not making a choice is an illusion. Choices are made either with our participation or without. Life does not give a choice in participating so don't blame life when we are not going in the direction we want to go. Exercise the power of choice or the choice will be made for us.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: choice, managing change, life

Blog Drive-Byes Oct 2007

I would like to share some of my favorite blogs and recommend that you take time to go over and say hello.

Sandee from Comedy Plus always a guaranteed laugh.

Bee from Muffin 53 who is currently updating us on her cruise and has great blonde jokes.

Jaya from Cat On My Head a must read for Cleo and myself.

Meg from Cute Overload always has some of the cutest animal shots.

Jennifer from Goodness Graciousness who explores the best in all of us to find.

Samantha and Tigger from Life from a Cats Perspective which Cleo insists on reading daily. (I think Cleo has a crush on Tigger)

Mimi from Mimi Writes and a reminder to pick up your peace globe and make a post on November 7, 2007. A great lady who has dedicated a large amount of time and effort for peace.

Princess Haiku from Princess Haiku who always presents for me an elegant expression of the beauty she finds in the world.

Random Magus who presents a different perspective that makes me think.

Shine from Shine With Grace who has a great perspective on issues we all face.

Derrick from Sui Generis provides a refreshing perspective for challenging our obstacles.

RT from Untwisted Vortex who has good advice and links for serious bloggers. Check him out and get involved.

Technorati tags: blog drive-Byes

Missing Out on Life

There is an undeniable comfort in having someone else tell you right from wrong and provide clear cut goals and rules of conduct for you to follow. That is the comfort of being a joiner and the appeal of groups.

Think about it. Whoops as a follower we don't have to think at all just obey and save a lot of time and effort. There are no decisions to be made other than whether it is a rule or not. Life becomes simply black and white with no gray, no exceptions, no tolerance for other viewpoints.

It is us versus them, those outside of the group. There is no compassion for those who break the rules as the penalty is to be tossed out of the group. A terrifying concept for some to consider.

They never reach mountain tops or sink to the depths of despair for there is no struggle to find their own truths and discover their ability to forgive, empathy for another's struggle, compassion, joy in life itself and perseverance in the face of troubles.

They miss out on all that could make a great life.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: struggle, life, challenge

Little Fears

We all understand what fear is when looking at physical harm in any form, losses in any form, rejection or disgust from others, to name a few. There is however a far more subtle aspect of fear that in many ways is far more difficult to understand and deal with.

We have at times made a decision not to tell the truth because we feel that it cannot be coped with by someone else. Nothing earth shattering just a little white lie for their benefit of course. Rather than being honest with compassion and empathy we withhold the truth.

Nothing large, nothing too serious, no harm intended so it's alright. Isn't it? Wrong.

We are making a judgement that is not ours to make. We judge the other person to be incapable of handling the truth; that is our fear for them we say but really it is our own fear of the consequences of telling them the truth. So the next time the situation comes up we are trapped by our own fears and continue to enlarge upon it a little bit at a time and have no way out because our fear that they will not be able the truth is getting truer and truer the more we have erected and strengthened that wall. How can we now tell them the truth as through our fear we have fed the lie into a true barrier to truth.

We cannot and should not assume our judgement of another persons ability to handle truth is true for fear of the consequences of telling it as long as we are compassionate and empathetic in our discussion with them. They may not like what we say but will respect our honesty which leaves open discussion and clarification that may follow.

Little fears are far more dangerous to our character and relationships than the known and common ones we all fear. We should always be on our guard against them.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: fear, judgements, truth

Temptation

Temptation is a funny thing. There are people who claim and rightly so that they are not tempted and so they are pure unlike so many others who fall into temptation. They also do not understand redemption because they have never needed it.

What a load of crap.

They did not fall into temptation simply because they removed themselves from the source of temptation. They did not embrace it and resist they simply avoided it and therefore had no struggle. They have never succumbed to the siren call of their carefully prepared list of temptations. 

They have never had to fight their way clear of temptations results with a deep understanding of the difficulty in ignoring that siren call afterwards. They also fail to have any empathy and compassion to those who struggle with or have survived temptation.

They have lost an opportunity for striving from the depth of despair without hope of success but striving never the less and finally winning their own personal struggle. Avoidance is simply no contest, no struggle.

Far better to have failed and to struggle finding the courage to go on no matter how hopeless it appears and winning through. We win a courageous spirit that is forged in the fires of adversity and a compassion for all those who struggle. Lessons of experience.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: temptation, struggle, striving

A Chance

In our lifetime as long or as short as it may be we have had chances to face fear and rise above it, to seek truth to uphold it and defend it, to know ourselves without lies, excuses or self-pity, to bear pain without becoming sour and disillusioned. We have had times to laugh, see the beauty of life, and to be grateful. We could have been kind, generous, and understood what we have in common with others. We have had the opportunity to love and be loved and to give forgiveness.

We have also had time to let life slide by day by day wrapped in our thoughts without action, having learned nothing but fear and sadness, unloved and unloving, unmoved by the pain of others, accepting what life offers us without thought or appreciation.

As we are reading these words we still have one thing left that can change everything in a moment. We have life. Until we die we all have a chance to make our life make a difference to ourselves and others.

What more do you need other than a chance?

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: life, choice, chance

Never Alone

There are people that wear their anger like a pair of socks. They put them on first thing in the morning and take them off the last thing at night. The use anger as a power whether they feel that life has cheated them of what they deserve when it has given them exactly what they deserve or that is the only way they believe they can get power.

Most of us do not know how to handle an angry person except to avoid escalating the situation to the point that we become the target. We will do almost anything to avoid that and rightly so when we think of the results of their anger. Physical abuse, death, mental abuse, maiming in extreme cases and intimidation, verbal abuse, and fear in other cases. Who would not want to avoid that?

There can be no true relationship based on fear or irrational anger and the instigator only builds a wall between them and everyone else. There is no success possible through confrontation as it only escalates the situation and the only person that can fix the problem is the person themselves.

Recognizing that we are in that situation is important and realizing that there are people both professional and personal that will help us. We simply need to ask and let people know who can help. We are never alone unless we ourselves make it so.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: anger, alone, relationships

Not Worth Our Time

People who always take without consideration for other people we could label bad. We could condemn them and try to figure out all kinds of ways to get back at them. Then we would become like them. Is that what we want?

When we retaliate in kind by taking from them then how are we different. If they break laws then yes they should be punished legally and not in a vigilante style because that makes us no different than them.

Takers tend to have a miserable life as they assume that everyone else is the same. No one can be trusted or be allowed to get too close. They are lonely miserable people and will find a time when someone will do the same to them.

Good people can survive hardships better than bad people because of their optimistic attitude and the relationships they create and nurture.  It is not worth our time to take care of all the bad people we will meet in life. They will ensure their own downfall or at best realize what an empty life they have in their old age.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: bad people, perspective

What is Truth

We have seemed to have lost the ability to take personal responsibility for critical thinking. We allow the experts to report on events and draw conclusions which may be inaccurate, misleading, slanted for sensationalism, or out of context but still accepted because they are "experts".

When did we stop doing our own critical thinking? When did we give up our own personal power of thinking for the opinion of some so called expert. Why do we not challenge anymore outlandish claims?

We have become in a lot of ways entertainment junkies which includes the news. We have become desensitized to individual pain and suffering as we listen to nightly statistics of murder, violence, famine, genocide, and other atrocities. We only want to see and hear the sensational. We only want to see and hear the experts to tell us what we think about things.

We have taken authority as truth rather than truth as authority. We have become the mass and so strive to blend in rather than be individualistic as it is too much effort. We have given up our basic rights and given it over to others to do with them as they please.

Should we worry about our future?

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: truth, experts, rights

Redefining Success

We struggle with success and what it means to each of us and can find it difficult to put into words. You know what I mean seems to be a common ending to our discussions on the subject. We can talk about feelings, goals, accomplishments, and so on and come no closer to what we mean by success.

It is different for everyone when we get right down to it and it can cause us a lot of grief, heartache, sleepless nights, you know the symptoms as well as I do.

Perhaps we are approaching this the wrong way. What if we reversed the questions we asked of ourselves and others. What if we talked about failure and what that is to each of us. Would we get a better answer to consider.

If we were to say that failure is not trying and that no person is a failure who has friends could we get rid of the burden of finding success and perhaps get on with enjoying our life in the midst of constant change.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: success, life, managing change

Defy the Obvious

 

Why do some people seem to defy the obvious? We can see that their situation is hopeless and yet they act as if it is not a fact for them. Are they blind, stupid or mad? They are certainly not rational.

Some people are happy in situations that make most of us shudder at the thought of it happening to us. Terminal illness, disability, low income, war, disease, starvation, and the like. We can't see how it is possible.

Some admittedly in those situations give up and shut down while others struggle on day by day. What makes the difference? What makes some people carry on defying the obvious?

They defy the obvious not because they are certain of eventual success but rather because trying gives them hope and without hope life is just a living death.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: hope, striving, life

Time Travel

If you could go back in time what would you change that would have meaning for you. Would it be an opportunity that you missed or a relationship that you would have pursued. We can imagine a lot of situations that if only we had done something different then our life would be so much better today.

Time travel is a fantasy that a lot of people indulge in from time to time. Interesting but an absolute time waster. When ever we indulge in this fantasy we are living in the past with what if scenarios rather than dealing with what we have right in front of us.

If we are living in the past or future then we miss seeing the opportunities existing right in front of us that we can take action on right now. It is our actions in the present moment that creates our life regardless of circumstances.

Where else can our actions affect our future other than right now.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: taking action, creating our future

Risk

It is easy to take risks when there is little a stake. We can remember starting out in our first career move or business venture. The downside of our attempt was really minimal. In most cases we were young and felt we had lots of time should it not work out. We had no kids or marriage to worry about and not a lot of money at risk.

Sometimes we were fortunate and our risks paid off and we embarked on other challenges which were also successful. Others were not successful. In both cases we could end up stopping the taking risks.

What happened?

The more successful we are the greater our potential loss and so we could end up looking for the sure thing. The more failures we had would result in the same dilemma that is looking for the sure thing.

We need to realize that there is no such thing as risk free. It doesn't exist. We need to know what our risk threshold is and accept that. Not everyone is cut out to take high risk and there is nothing wrong with that.

Knowing our risk threshold allows us to make better goals that we will strive for rather than waiting for the perfect score which will never arrive and would guarantee our having an unhappy life.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: goals, perspective

Everything Passes

We seek to control our circumstances as much as possible to guarantee the future we most desire. The results of our actions to have control prove over and over again that we cannot succeed in this task. The reason is both simple and profound.

Everything passes.

Nothing ever remains the same. Oh we can have the illusion that this is not true but that is only our own desire for those things we want deluding us. If we cannot really control anything then what is there left to give us hope.

Remember that the goal does not define the how to achieve it but only to be able to recognize opportunities that arise for working towards it.

The only thing we can control is ourselves.

How we act, how we think about things, what emotions we allow to rule us and how we express them. What beliefs do we wish to follow and express in our actions? What kinds of relationships do we want and how we treat others? All these things are within our power to change through our choice of actions.

When we understand what we do and do not control then perhaps we can have a clearer vision of what is important to uphold and what we should let go of.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: control, personal growth, goals

Uncertainty

We like predictable things, events and especially people. We hate being blindsided by anything because then we give our raw reaction which in a lot of cases is contrary to the image we have presented to the world and to ourselves.

The problem is that it is an image we want to present which is a construct of our imagination. It is built on what we believe that we need to obtain our desires and goals. A false premise.

Integrity and character will shine through all of our actions if what we are constructing is of benefit to the people we are acting with rather than using people. Then there is never uncertainty in our actions and relationships. Everyone benefits.

Trying to make things predictable is impossible when it comes to events and people and we could save a lot of frustration and false starts by maintaining a good perspective. Then we can share a laugh with others when things fall through the cracks.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: uncertainty, relationships, purpose

Restlessness

One of my readers Cissie asked if I would write about restlessness. I like to think of restlessness as a type of longing not to be confused with happiness or unhappiness. I believe that restlessness comes from the heart and is a feeling that there is more that we can discover than what we currently have or strive for.

It is an incompleteness that we cannot put into words except as a longing for something more. Something different than what we have aspired to up to now. Restlessness embarks us on a voyage of discovery where we have no specific destination in mind.

It forces us to search for and try new things in order to satisfy that itch that we have. Some people cannot tolerate searching without a destination and so drown it out by immersing themselves in flamboyant excess or drugs or anything that hides the longing for a while.

I believe they search in the wrong direction in the external world rather than listening to their inner world while on their voyage of discovery. It is finding the feeling that we are missing and can only be found by listening to our heart during our search.

Where to search is our voyage and unique to ourselves.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: restlessness, personal growth, discovery

Living in the Present

We are the only species on the planet that can punish ourselves with our past; our history. There is a saying that goes something like those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Is that true?

History is only history if it is written down and then it cannot be taken back. Whomever writes the history then creates the history true or not. So as no one can see all the information it is then a composite of individual viewpoints which we know from our experience is not complete nor totally accurate as it is biased. 

So when we look to our own history how accurate is it and should we wear like a cross and so warp the present with the past. Experiencing the results of our actions and thereby learning wisdom is far different than continually filtering our present through the filter of our past.

Once the lesson is learned do we need the past any longer. Perhaps it is time to let go and live in the only time we have; the present.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: past, lessons, personal growth