Sunday, October 21, 2007

Little Fears

We all understand what fear is when looking at physical harm in any form, losses in any form, rejection or disgust from others, to name a few. There is however a far more subtle aspect of fear that in many ways is far more difficult to understand and deal with.

We have at times made a decision not to tell the truth because we feel that it cannot be coped with by someone else. Nothing earth shattering just a little white lie for their benefit of course. Rather than being honest with compassion and empathy we withhold the truth.

Nothing large, nothing too serious, no harm intended so it's alright. Isn't it? Wrong.

We are making a judgement that is not ours to make. We judge the other person to be incapable of handling the truth; that is our fear for them we say but really it is our own fear of the consequences of telling them the truth. So the next time the situation comes up we are trapped by our own fears and continue to enlarge upon it a little bit at a time and have no way out because our fear that they will not be able the truth is getting truer and truer the more we have erected and strengthened that wall. How can we now tell them the truth as through our fear we have fed the lie into a true barrier to truth.

We cannot and should not assume our judgement of another persons ability to handle truth is true for fear of the consequences of telling it as long as we are compassionate and empathetic in our discussion with them. They may not like what we say but will respect our honesty which leaves open discussion and clarification that may follow.

Little fears are far more dangerous to our character and relationships than the known and common ones we all fear. We should always be on our guard against them.

Your thoughts?

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2 conversations:

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I agree, but I still tell little white lies now and then. I know I shouldn't, but I do. Usually it involves not wanting to hurt someone elses feelings, so out with the white lie. Excellent reminder here. Have a great day Peter. :)

Peter Haslam said...

I think that for important relationships true but acquaintences necessary Sandee :)