We often see people spinning their wheels when tackling changes they want in their life. Are they weak willed, have no stamina to persevere, or can't bite the bullet and get on with it? I don't think that is the primary reason for not making the change. The main reason is that people confuse cause and effect and usually spend a lot of time dealing with effects.
We need to get more practice in designing our life rather just accepting it. We need better questions to ask ourselves to get at the cause and create effective change. Questions like:
- What are the values that are controlling me?
- How do I know when my values are being met?
- What are my rules foe winning and losing?