Friday, July 25, 2008

Cause or Effect

We often see people spinning their wheels when tackling changes they want in their life. Are they weak willed, have no stamina to persevere, or can't bite the bullet and get on with it? I don't think that is the primary reason for not making the change. The main reason is that people confuse cause and effect and usually spend a lot of time dealing with effects.
We need to get more practice in designing our life rather just accepting it. We need better questions to ask ourselves to get at the cause and create effective change. Questions like:

  1. What are the values that are controlling me?
  2. How do I know when my values are being met?
  3. What are my rules foe winning and losing?
What questions would you add to this incomplete list?

14 conversations:

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Well, my mind is drawing a complete blank here. Maybe it's because I just rarely do this type of thing anymore. I don't know. Have a great weekend Peter. :)

Marianna said...

Hi Peter:

Here's a few more questions to ponder:

In respect to values: Why are they important to me? Is it because I want to move towards something or I want to move away from something?

Is it possible to change our thinking on losing - look at it as winning and "learning"? In other words, such and such didn't work well, what did I learn from this and how can I do this better next time?

Peter Haslam said...

Thanks Sandee you too :)

Peter Haslam said...

Good questions marianna. Yes absolutely as only ourselves can call something a failure. :)

string bikini said...

I think it's a good idea to also ask your partner for help when making this kind of list. Afterall, we live our lives togather and make decisions togather, constantly trying to be more togather and more like 'one'. Just my two cents. :)

Laura

Peter Haslam said...

Good point Laura :)

medical dictionary said...

Good post and some suggestions are also very encouraging. We don't need to ask so many questions to ourselves , it is sufficient to ask that, weather we are really designing our life on our values or we are only accepting it.

mercola said...

Good points. Some people tend to dwell on the problem, instead of finding a viable solution. Great blog.. I'll be back :)

roselynmendoza said...

I don't dwell on morbid thoughts because they just depress me. I worry about my problems for five to ten minutes only every day. During that short span of time, I also think about all possible solutions. Afterward, I'll count my blessings to shoo my depression away. I thank God for whatever I have. Thanks for giving me a chance to share :)

shiitake said...

I think the main reason is that people are scared to try something new.

maicel said...

there's nothing constant in this world but change

Bird Cage Fan said...

Everything is right that.Good blog.

Barbecue Fish said...

I think you posed some great questions. I am not sure what else I would add to the list, there have already been some great comments on this.

khay said...

The more I think about life and decision making the more I get depressed so I just tried to free m mind from lot's of worries. Right now I'm just thinking of happy thoughts to cheer me up.