Happy New Year

My wishes for everyone to have a great year in 2008.

I Am

We can worry in some way about what other people think about us. For some of us it can be a constant source of anxiety and for some of us we can have an image of ourselves that we simply believe that others will have of us. But it really doesn't matter what we worry about or think that others think about us because we will be wrong in most cases.

Simply whatever you think I am or want me to be I am whether true or not.

Why waste a lot of time and effort trying to make others see us the way we want them to when it is not our choice. If we do what is right in situations then we will feel good about ourselves and then it will not matter what others think.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: self-image, self-worth

Merry Xmas

A wish for everyone to have a merry Christmas.

Affairs of the Heart

We all know that death comes to visit us sooner or later. We try not to think about it except when talking to an insurance salesperson as if it will push death into the later category. That is why death usually takes us by surprise and we are not ready for it.

Death needs to be simply accepted as much as we accept life. One does not exist without the other. Unfortunately many people don't prepare for their own death and put off things which need to be taken care of before it arrives.

By this I mean affairs of the heart. Those issues that deal with ourselves or involving others that need to be resolved or healed before death makes it impossible.

It is death that brings into focus our present moments where we can savour and enjoy what makes life such a gift provided that we are awake to it.

We should always strive to take care of the affairs of heart now rather than later as later may not come.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: death, life

Keeping Track

We just get so busy attending to the details of life that we can forget to ask ourselves if we are enjoying life and does life have meaning for us.

There are two questions I ask myself daily that remind me to check and not get buried in the details. A way of keeping track. They are:

Have I found any joy today?

Have I given joy to anyone today?

Do you have a question or questions that you use to keep your centred on the important things of life?

Technorati tags: keeping meaning in our lives

Fitting In

We all worry to some degree about fitting in or perhaps we might want to call it being accepted. To some being accepted is everything and to others it calls for rebellion which is just another way of fitting in.

In either case we can worry so much about it that we lose sight of ourselves and our own needs. Fitting in requires a compromise between being ourselves and adapting to the group persona we have chosen to belong to. This dynamic push and pull could hide from ourselves what we feel is important for our own lives as we are so busy meeting the group expectations.

We need to find, accept, and be ourselves, forming a nucleus around which we will attract like minded individuals. We allow people to be themselves and put away the requirement that they conform to our expectations.

Definitely not an easy task but very rewarding in the end to all involved.

Is this possible or is it just idle thinking?

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: comformity, expectations, self-expression

Change

There are many people who point fingers at others and say they need to change for many and varied reasons. We can easily see when and how others need to change in order to make a better life for themselves.

From romance to wealth we are often experts on the need to change. That's right the need but necessarily the how to change. We should resist telling people what they should do and start showing by our example how to accomplish what they need to do. Who knows; one example, could open up someone's eyes to the possibility that they too can change their lives for the better.

Do you agree that example is far more powerful than a book of words to bring about change?

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: change, example

Resentment

One of the key obstacles to finding and appreciating joy in our lives is resentment. Resentment, bitterness and holding a grudge all interfere with us seeing and appreciating the joy that is always there in our lives.

When we are resentful we wander around in fog where we only see, hear, feel, and taste the object or objects of our resentment. We have tunnel vision and the whole universe is in on the act. We fail to see that the sun is shinning, that there is a gentle refreshing breeze blowing, that people are smiling at us and wish to share their joy.

Everything becomes tinted with the colour of our resentment. Life sucks, life is cruel, life is unfair and inconsiderate. Make a habit of resentment and depression and anger become prevalent in our lives.

The cure can be simple if we choose to allow it and that is to enjoy what is always there if we simply look for it and appreciate it. Nothing magical just part of being human and having choice.

Choose wisely.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: joy, resentment, obstacles

A Question

We have a tendency to give too much weight to fear in our lives. We are afraid of making the wrong choices. We all have a host of fears about what might happen to us and others important to us. We fear many different future possibilities.

We fear for our health, our wealth, our hopes, and of death before we have completed anything significant in our lives. We worry and fret in the present moment about things that may or may not occur and predict dire consequences in minute changes we imagine will impact us.

Sounds like we are contemplating the end of the world as we know it from our and other's conversations. It is easy to do this when we don't think we deserve good things to happen for us. We almost believe we will hex ourselves if we predict good things occurring for or happening to us. We certainly don't want to be put in the position of someone else telling us that we are not realistic so we keep the good thoughts hidden from others and sometimes ourselves.

So I have one question for all of us to answer.

Why be afraid of tomorrow when today is all we have?

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: fear, future, possibilities

Outside the Box

Most of us are problem oriented as we have been taught by the educational system. The problem with this in coming up with solutions is the process itself. We end up defining a box within which the problem exists. That is the nature of describing known results and their causes.

When we have finished with this analysis we are usually no further ahead in solving it as we can get locked within our problem box and thereby restrict our perspective.

To think outside of the problem box is very simple. First ignore trying to define the problem and instead focus on what the solution would look, sound, and feel like. Then we can look to how we bring about what is now a clear objective.

Working backwards from the solution is thinking outside the box as there are no restrictions being used in defining the solution as there are when we define the problem.

Simplistic?

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: solutions, problem solving

Self-Abuse

Have you ever found yourself saying things like that was dumb or that was stupid or what
an idiot I was. Well you are not alone in doing this. We believe that in order to prevent
results that we don't want that we should clearly identify our goofs and make sure that
we own up to our responsibility for causing them.
Hogwash!
The only reason we now label our actions that way is because we have a 
new perspective given to us by our results.
With our new perspective we will not take the same actions again 
but will choose different ones and get different results. 
Who knows perhaps we will like those results better.
As we are never able to have the identical situations arising again perhaps we should stop giving 
ourselves negative reinforcement and instead learn to laugh at ourselves.
Humor always gives a new perspective and we will always make better decisions when we are in a good mood.
Life is full of lessons and we need to learn them in a beneficial way that increases our possibilities for choices rather reducing them.
Your thoughts?

Perspective

It is amazing the number of people who presume that they would have lived your life better than you have. That given the same circumstances you have encountered they would have done better and don't hesitate to tell you so.
That is arrogance speaking when we do that about someone else's life. The first assumption we make is that we understand fully what they have gone through. The second assumption is that while in the midst of change we would have seen clearer the results of the decisions being made and therefore would have made better ones. The third assumption is that we would not have made the bad choices.
Anyone can stand back after the fact including ourselves and say that was dumb but that was not obvious when we made the best choice we could at the time. Really the only thing we can really talk about is what lessons did we learn from life.
It is all about perspective.
Your thoughts?