Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Asking is not Begging

Some people find it very difficult to ask for things. Asking requires that we admit we need something and we can feel that it gives an advantage to the person we are asking.

We can sometimes think that asking is equivalent to begging. We will in that case try to manipulate others into giving us what we want or act as if it is of no importance or we will try to take it just to prove how strong we are.

When we do that and we don't get what we want we can feel vindictive and seek to find ways to pay them back. A lose- lose situation in all cases involving relationships.

When we have developed good relationships where we have mutual respect then asking is not presuming on the relationship it is simply recognizing that very little in life can get done without others.

Asking is the gateway to cooperation and reciprocation when the need is reversed. Asking is not a weakness as is perceived by many but an acknowledgement that we are not perfect. The human condition. 

Your thoughts?

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11 conversations:

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I learned a long time ago that I couldn't go it alone. So, asking for help/assistance hasn't been a problem. I'm also available for others that need help. Along with that realization came another plus. Instead of saying "I" all the time the word "we" became the norm.

Excellent post as usual Peter. Have a great day. :)

Peter Haslam said...

We is the word Sandee thanks for your add

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

funny i should read this today as i just asked my readers to donate to a breast cancer walk! i felt really funny doing it too, but the two gals that are walking for me are doing so much i felt i had to do it. so i did. and it was hard...

smiles, bee

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

You have a new award if you care to have it. It's the You Make Me Smile award... :)

Peter Haslam said...

Thanks Sandee will be over

Peter Haslam said...

Bee i will ask my readers to come visit your blog

captain lifecruiser said...

First time visiting, came by Sandee's blog actually. I'm impressed over your ability to hit the nail so precisely in your posts without too many unnecessary words. I know how hard that can be to accomplish... (for me at least :-)

Well, regarding the subject in this post:

I wish my parents had thought this way. They taught me to manage by my own, which now means that it's very hard for me to ask for help. I tend to be overdoing things despite that I can't manage it. I'm trying to learn to ask for help, but it's very difficult since it's burnt in since childhood :-)

Peter Haslam said...

Captain Lifecruiser welcome. Acknowledging a problem is to start to correct it. Baby steps are usually best for an ingrained habit. Please stop by again and I will be over to visit

Digital Nomad said...

Be judicious about asking for more than what you need.

Only ask when you truly are in need.

Don't make it a habit.

Anrosh said...

I grew with the following thought - If you are afraid to ask, you are afraid to learn.

Peter Haslam said...

Well said Anrosh