Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Beware of Free Gifts

I was sitting in a coffee shop today when a person sat down pulled out their cell phone and proceeded to have a loud conversation with someone they were upset with. I was immediately angry at the person for forcing me to hear the abuse they were heaping on the other person. I felt like getting up and telling them off but instead I sat there stewing about it.

About 5 or 10 minutes later I thought about a blog post I had read about a discussion with a monk on anger. (I cannot remember who's blog it was to link to, sorry)The monk was asked how he handled anger from other people and he replied by saying no thank you I do not accept your gift. I thought at the time that was neat and then promptly forgot about it.

So today while I was stewing at the coffee shop; the thought popped into my mind don't accept the gift. It was no different than accepting the gift of anger. On numerous occasions I had allowed others to give their free gifts of anger, rudeness, irritating habits and the like by thinking about them; sometimes for days and years. I then thought to myself no thanks for the free gift.

It no longer bothered me because what I focus on is my choice and I chose to let it go; I was in control. What a sense of freedom. In future I will pay more attention to the free gifts I don't want and there are some old gifts that I need to throw in the garbage can.

Think about the free gifts that you need to let go.

[update] The post was

Thank you to Clarke for the reference

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3 conversations:

Clarke said...

Peter the point the monk was making is to not let someone elses anger effect you, by not becoming a victim.
So it doesn't matter what triggers you use as a method for letting go...the point is...let go :)

Bryan Baker said...

what a great post. it's all about the attitude in some situations.

i'm not sure exactly what to say but i know the next time something that would have bothered me...i'm just going to say "No thanks, I don't accept your gift."

So thank you!

seaside foreclosures said...

This is such a nice way to control ones anger. Thank you for the post.