Spectator Sport

Some people act as if they live in a fishbowl or better yet a stadium. They constantly worry how what they are doing looks to other people. Perhaps they feel life gets scored just like a game and they need to have a perfect game.

They play by the rules that are established or they presume are established by others. They find it hard to change their mind as life throws wrinkles into their plans as it would appear to them to label them a quitter or lacking in something.

It becomes extremely hard to live with constant change while trying to fix the rules and freeze roles for the others involved as life just will not be static. So when we give the rationale for our actions as if we are to be judged by the spectators of our life then we stop having a life.

We are totally responsible for our actions to ourselves. The choices we make are totally ours. The result is ours. Don't give it away to the spectators who do not and will not accept responsibility for our lives.

Life - a spectator sport OR your choices.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: responsibility, life choices, spectators

Ambiguity

The most stressful situation we can find ourselves in is one of indecision. We just know which decision is the right one where the outcome is not certain. We can end up suffering from ambiguity.

We make a decision at 10:00 o'clock and at 10:30 we revisit the decision and decide the other way and so on throughout the day. We just are of committing to one decision or the other.

The problem becomes that no decision is still a decision and we can end up running out of time and we could become overrun by events that take the decision away from us.

Sometimes we simply have to stop looking at consequences and look to what small action we could take that would help us decide. Instead of deciding by guesswork we look for that one piece of information that will help us decide. in this way we get out of the problem box we have put ourselves in.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: indecision, choices

Changing Others

We can find all kinds of books and information on how to influence people and about relationships. Most follow the illusion that we have the ability to change others. Simply not true.

Yes we can stop or modify someone else's behaviour when we have power over them as a boss, parent, or represent an organization that has the power to penalize us such as courts or police.

But that is really an outward appearance of compliance to avoid penalties we don't want applied to us.  But think to our own lives and ask whether that actually changed us or not.

The only person that can change us is ourselves. People enter into relationships with the idea that they can change the other person's faults through the power of the relationship and then wonder why it didn't work.

We can save ourselves a lot of anguish and pain if we learn that we have to accept others just as they are. Perhaps through our example they will see other ways of living that may or may not try.

But the bottom line is that only they can decide to change.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: relationships, change

Magic At All Ages

There is something that we generally acknowledge is part of our early childhood. We believe in imaginary things such as Santa Claus, fairies, dragons, warlocks, and invisible friends. We laugh with them and allow them to enjoy them as we are reminded of how magical the world was to us at that age.

Somehow along the way we learn to be realistic, to be practical, to have both feet firmly on the ground and as a result lost something precious to our well being.

We the magic of life in all it's splendour and magic. We lost the full use of our imagination which made everyday events dance and sparkle with a life of it's' own.

We are all intimately involved with the magic of life. We breathe in is that not magic. We taste a strawberry is that not magic. We can go on a hero's quest in our mind is that not magic.

When we fail to see, feel and hear the magic of life are we not living less than fully. Magic is everywhere but only if look for it.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: magic of life, living fully, imagination