Control

If we look closely we would find that there is a relationship between fear of change and being controlling where ever possible in our lives. We tend to be controlling when we try to freeze life into a particular mould and in that way fix our future.

However we can all appreciate that life tends to ignore controls and moulds despite our best efforts. the bottom line is that we could spend our entire life being frustrated by our attempts to control the winds of life. They blow hot or cold, fast or slow, from a gentle breeze to a cyclone regardless of our desires.

like sailors we need to learn how to adapt to the winds and use whatever comes up to push us in the direction we want to go and so eventually arrive at our desired destination. There will be times we are becalmed and times we need to batten down the hatches and seek sheltered moorings while the gale blows.

Sailors work with the winds and accept whatever comes which is a great attitude for sailing through life.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: managing change, adapting, flexibility, control

Compromise or Arrangement

There are people who refuse to compromise in any way on what they want to do, when they want to do it and how they want to do it despite living with others. They consider it a relationship when it is only an arrangement.

The difference lies with one word compromise. A relationship whether casual or deeply intimate requires compromise on everybodys part. Give and take with the best interests of the relationship the determining factor.

If we find ourselves in an arrangement that no longer works we can renegotiate or end it as we choose. A relationship on the other hand has a greater degree of emotional content that can carry a heavy cost to end.

We must recognize whether we have a arrangement rather than a relationship when deciding how much we are going to compromise in order to keep it going. The second point is that we need to make sure that we don't mistake an arrangement for a relationship when placing demands on others.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: relationships, arrangements, compomise

Are We Special

One of the most difficult things to do is to stop thinking that we are special. You know that others should automatically know our wants and needs and should make sure that they don't trespass on our boundaries.

We might say not me but think about it. When someone is loud and interrupts us when we want quiet what do we think. That they have no consideration or respect for us. If others continue to pursue their own objectives instead of ours what do we think.

If we cannot convince others what do we think about them. When we are hurt by the actions of others what do we think. It can be a very long list that is generated by that thought that we are special.

This type of thinking leads easily to us taking everything personally because we think we are special but the bottom line is that we are not any more special than anyone else.

When we change our thinking to considering relationships and how we contribute to those relationships then our whole focus changes along with the results achieved.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: perspective. personal growth, results

Lessons and Mistakes

We spend a lot of time and effort constantly reinventing our future. As changes happen we look for and find ways to use that change to go towards our goal or to avoid potential problems. Everyone does it in one form or another.

There is a way to use this talent for reinvention that potentially could have a greater impact on improving our lives. If we can reinvent our future why not also reinvent out past.

If we were to take everything that we consider to be a mistake or those decisions we regret and reframed them as steps towards our goals would it make difference.

I believe it would. We would no longer have a negative connotation on the lessons we needed to learn so as to arrive at our goal. We would lose the fear of making the same mistakes that can end up holding us back.

We would learn to take change and lessons as a natural part of life rather than learning how to avoid making mistakes which quite frankly is impossible to start with.

Your thoughts?

Technorati tags: lessons, mistakes, life, managing change